Month: May 2016

Rocking Self Care

As promised, I want to talk about self care today. It’s something I’ve touched on pretty often, but I’ve never really written about straight out. It’s also something that I think we all struggle with.

This isn’t an issue that’s exclusive to writers. It’s not exclusive to parents, though I think parents are slightly more likely to fall victim to it. It’s not exclusive to people who suffer from depression like me, though I think it’s more damaging to us.

It’s just that, once we’re adults, we stop thinking that we need taken care of. We stop having someone to take care of us, and we’ve started taking care of other people. We need, though to take care of ourselves.

Your physical health

It seems silly that we, as grownups, should have to be reminded to look after our health. But it happens. Especially those of us in our 20’s and 30’s. We really think we’re freaking unkillable. Until something happens.

Like when my husband was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. You decide to get healthy really fast after that.

  • Make doctors appointments for yourself, and keep them. See your PCP, your dentist, your eye doctor, your lady parts doctor if such things apply to you. I am so bad at this! I hate taking the time off work, or out of my writing time. But I’m getting better. It helps that I can finally get health insurance.
  • If you’re a woman, preform self breast exams. Every month, not just in October when everyone’s reminding you to.
  • Watch your diet. Make sure you’re making yourself a decent dinner, at least five times a week. There are a ton of recopies and tips on making easy weekday meals, so I won’t bore you with it. That’s what Pintrest is for. In fact, if you follow me on Pintrest, I pin them all the time.
  • Go to bed! Again, I try to shoot for at least five times a week actually getting seven to eight hours of sleep.
  • Get some exercise, outdoors if possible. I have the best way to do this, I don’t have a car. The walk to my day job is about 20 minutes, so that’s at least 40 minutes, 5 days a week that I walk.
  • If a doctor has prescribed you medication, make sure you’re taking it. Talk to your doctor about what vitamins you should be taking, too.

Mental Health

If you don’t fail at adulting like me, physical health might not be something you struggle with. But mental health is something I find a lot of people take for granted. And this, really, usually comes down to doing more than you should for more people than you should be doing things for in the first place. Here is what I consider bare minimum for mental care.

  • Meditate. I try to clear my mind for ten minutes in the morning and evening, then do a longer Chakra meditation three times a week. I say try, because it doesn’t always happen, but most days I can get at least ten minutes in.

  • Learn the difference between an indulgence and a self defeating habit. Generally, this comes down to portion sizes and timing. As an example, I like to have a glass of wine after work. I don’t do it every night, and if we’ve got a tight budget I won’t do it at all. That’s a healthy indulgence. I also like to go shopping for frivolous things I don’t need. I am a compulsive shopper, and the less control I feel over my life, the more likely I am to buy something I don’t need. I also have a hard time saying no to my kids. That is a self destructive habit, and I need to stop it.

  • Watch your inner monologue. This is one that I struggle with when I get depressed. I feel lazy and worthless. I hate everything I’m writing and I hate my day job. I also am sure that no one in my family really likes me that much. And no, just telling myself over and over that I’m smart and loved doesn’t waive a magic wand over my brain and fix the legitimate chemical imbalance that makes me feel shitty. But not constantly telling myself that I’m a useless waste of flesh doesn’t help any.

  • Have some hobbies. Now, this one is big when you’re a writer, because writing is no longer your hobby. There’s pressure there to succeed, and produce. Hobbies should be low pressure. For instance, I like making fancy coffees. I can use a french press, and make espresso. I also discovered the wonderful world of makeup recently, and that’s been fun. It’s low pressure, and I really like the results, whether it’s a good cup of Mexican coffee or a great smokey eye.

  • I did a whole post about this once before -Insert link to Yes and No-, so I’ll not rehash it a lot here, but learn when to say no. I like to look at it this way; if the thought of doing something makes me want to cry, I should say no. I actually think it’s kind of crazy that there was a time in my life that I had to be told this!

Know when to get help

Help comes in different forms. Sometimes it’s no longer doing something that you shouldn’t have been doing in the first place. Sometimes it’s seeing a therapist. Sometimes it’s just asking for a hand.

  • First and foremost, take a long look at your list of to dos. If you have kids, I bet there are some things on that list that shouldn’t be there. For instance, I used to make myself responsible for getting my kids up and ready for school. I even considered it my responsibility to make sure they had clean clothes. At some point I realized how terrible that was. My monsters are responsible for cleaning their rooms, and I have a bin in the hallway for all of their dirty clothes. I was the clothes, sort the clothes, and they’re responsible for folding and putting their own clothes away. If I’m doing my part of that, and they’re not, why was I rewarding them for that?

  • I’m a big fan of dividing the work. My darling husband takes care of all of the homeschooling details, so I do some housework. Like laundry, because I really don’t mind laundry. I also keep the living room and bathroom tidy, since I’m the ones wrecking those rooms anyway. These things are things that don’t make me cry. Dishes are another matter. I don’t do dishes. Nor do I cook, or clean the kitchen. Those are things my darling husband does. These are things that don’t make him cry.

  • If you’re not in the position to share chores with a spouse, consider what you can do to either swap chores you really hate with a friend, and when to hire it out.

  • Finally, if you’re feeling down, stressed, or just worried a lot, it might be time to talk to a therapist. Since I don’t know anyone who isn’t either down, stressed or worried a lot, you should probably make an appointment with a therapist. Think of it as seeing an eye doctor if you don’t have glasses. You’re probably just fine, but it’s a good idea to check in every now and again.

My four Lists

I think you knew this was going to come down to lists. But I depend on these lists, and they might help you, too.

The first of the three is what I call my gold standard list. It’s the things I try to fit into every day for self care. And I actually think that my gold standard list will look pretty similar to yours. A good night’s sleep, a breakfast heavy on good fats. Reading time, meditation time, family time. A good walk. If I can get all of these things into my day, I feel good.

It doesn’t always happen, though. Some nights I can’t sleep, some mornings I don’t have avocados. Some evenings are full of chores and I can’t get any time with my book. On those days, I have a bare minimum list. It is a list of things I must do, or I’ll feel like hell.

  1. A granola bar with coffee before work if I don’t have time for a more substantial breakfast.

  2. A through face wash, followed by some primer and eyeliner, if I don’t have time for a full face.

  3. A ten minute meditation in the mid afternoon, when I transition from day job to home.

  4. At least half an hour watching a tv show with my kids.

Now, here’s the magic of that second list. I have faith in it, like Dumbo with his feather. I believe that if I can do those four things I’ll be okay.

Finally, the most important list is the list of things I know trigger depression episodes. I can’t always avoid them. Sometimes I can be very good, and do everything I’m supposed to do and I still just get smacked in the face by it. But I also know that certain things mess with me. If I sleep in, if I fight with the husband and we don’t make up for over a day. If I don’t drink enough water, leave work early, or eat too much junk food. All of these will trigger guilt, which triggers depression. If I’m in a crowded place, in public for too long, or just knocked out of my routine for more than a day, I’m running the risk of an anxiety attack. This is all very specific to me, but I advise you to make your own list.

Basically, I want you to consider this your personal permission form to take care of yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s not weak. It’s what you need to do to make sure you’re physically and mentally healthy enough to take care of your family, and your writing. If I could boil this whole post down to one suggestion, it would be this. Treat yourself the way you’d treat someone you really love, because you should be someone that your really love.

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Prose

I love any re-occurring contests, as you all well know. Anything that allows you multiple chances to enter, especially when they give you a fun new theme. This one can be prose or poetry, whichever you prefer.

It’s hard to give a lot of details since they change every week. I intend to give it a shot most weeks, though. If nothing else, it’s good exercise.

Here’s a link to the full submission guidelines.

Best of luck

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Editing Dialog

Happy Throwback Thursday.

Nicole Luttrell's avatarPaper Beats World

I think it’s important to know your strengths and your weaknesses in life. Doubly so when you ‘re a writer, (read small business owner.) For instance, my weakness, which has been pointed out many times, is fight scenes. Probably because I don’t like to read them.

What I really am good with, though, is dialog. Talking, which shouldn’t be a surprise to anybody. No one runs a blog who doesn’t like to hear themselves talk. But I really love writing dialog, and I think that’s why I’m good at it. But, like everything else with writing, the first draft is shitty, and the second draft is only a little bit better. It’s really my third draft that makes my dialog sing. Here’s how I edit dialog.

Read it out loud.

I read my whole second draft out loud. Every single page. When something makes my mouth trip, I highlight it…

View original post 480 more words

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Click

Betty walked behind the woman, making sure to keep out of sight. That wasn’t hard. It was a busy Saturday at the mall, and the woman had a noisy child with her to make an excellent distraction. Betty was able to follow much closer than she was usually able to get to a person.

The woman was older, but not really old. Betty was surprised to find that she even had a pacemaker. She paused when the woman stopped to consider a display of books. Taking the chance, she pointed one finger at her.

Nothing happened. The woman walked off to the next shop, the child following after.

Betty moved forward. Perhaps she hadn’t been close enough.

The woman stopped again, to consider some candles outside of a soap shop. She smelled one, made a face, and offered it to the child to sniff.

Betty stopped when she was about six feet from the woman, and pointed her finger again.

This time, she heard a click. The woman dropped the candle before falling to the ground herself. The glass shattered, and Betty walked past her. She was still close enough to hear when the child started to scream.

“Not good enough, not at all,” Betty muttered. “But at least now we know.”

Daintry looked down at the woman’s body. Her supervisor, the coroner, had done a thorough job. As much as he knew to do. He’d taken out the pacemaker, and assessed that it had been the cause of the woman’s death. Something had caused it to malfunction and blow up. Such a shame, but at least it had been quick.

Problem was, Daintry thought there might be more to it than that. There wasn’t a doubt that the pacemaker had killed the woman. Daintry’s question was what had caused it, because she was sure it hadn’t gone off on its own.

It wasn’t the coroner’s fault. He didn’t have the same training or tools that Daintry did. It also wasn’t his fault that she had to wait for him to leave before she could get to work. Awkward questions were sure to be asked if anyone saw her using her tools.

She wasted time, waiting for the coroner to leave. Cleaning her glasses, shuffling her papers. He sat at his desk, writing reports.

Daintry was starting to think she was going to have to find an excuse to come in early when he said, “Aren’t you finished with your reports yet?”

“No, Sir, and I haven’t even started on my cleaning, yet,” she replied with a sigh.

“Well, don’t take all night.” he replied, stashing his papers in his desk. “Are you alright here with just Nick?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Daintry said, wishing he’d stop worrying about her and just leave.

“I’ll see you in the morning,then,” he said, and finally left.

Daintry wasted no time. As soon as she heard the buzz of the outer door she grabbed her bag and darted for the body.

The woman lay on the table, a sheet pulled over her body. Daintry pulled a green silk clutch from her bag, and from it took a triangular glass in a copper frame. She pulled the sheet off of the woman’s body, and looked her over through the glass.

The body was grey, devoid of any of the normal sparks and swirls of light that would have been present in a living body. Daintry had expected this, of course. What she hadn’t expected was the dark magic burn mark on the place where the pacemaker had been. Daintry turned her glass to the machine set on a nearby table.

There, right in the center, was a black burn mark. “That doesn’t belong there.” Daintry said.

Betty sat in the city park, a newspaper on her lap. She was watching as builders set up a stage near the fountain. It looked like they were nearly done for the day.

She kept her eyes on her paper,trying to sense electronics around her. There was a man with a sleeping in his arms, and a phone in his front pocket. Betty gave him a warm smile as he passed, which he returned.

She waited until he was about ten feet away, then pointed her finger at him.

With a click, the sound on his phone went off. He jumped, waking the sleeping child, who started to bawl.

“Ten feet,” Betty said. “Better than five, I suppose.”

The builders were packing up. Betty waited until they were all gone, and the stood. She walked to the end of the seating area. Facing the stage, she took careful steps along the isle, counting each one.

When she was finished, she made her way leisurely towards a coffee cart. There was a two yard space between the two points. Betty wondered if she would be able to reach that far in the next week.

Daintry was a little concerned with just how easy it was to sneak the pacemaker out of the office. Maybe it was because she was so well trusted, or maybe it was because Nick the night guard was smoking outside instead of watching the monitors like he was supposed to.

Back at her apartment, she pulled pacemaker from the box, and set it on her kitchen table.

She opened her tool bag. Thinking that something in there might lead her to an idea.

Inside, she found a clear crystal.

“Well, maybe I can at least track it, see where it’s coming from.” she said. She picked up the crystal, and grabbed a map of the city from the drawer nearby.

She spread the map out, placed the crystal in the center of it, and picked up the pacemaker. Setting her thumb over the scorch mark, she held her other hand, palm out, towards the crystal.

It wobbled for a moment, then skittered across the map. Daintry watched as it landed over the city park, and started to glow.

“At least I can still do a tracking spell,” Daintry said. She placed her hand over the crystal, and closed her eyes.

She could see a woman, a techno witch judging by the sparks in her hair. She was walking towards a stage, looking down at her feet, her lips moving as though keeping count.

“Oh, no,” Daintry whispered. She recognized the place, passing the park every day on her way to work. It was where the governor was making his speech next week. And the governor had a pacemaker.

Daintry knew that no one who had any power to help her would listen. Humans, silly creatures that they were, generally didn’t care about evidence discovered during visions. What she didn’t know was what she was supposed to do about an evil techno witch by herself. But she knew that she had to at least try to stop her. So she found herself slinking through the crowd on the day of the governor’s speech, her eyes scanning the crowd for the witch with sparks in her hair.

Finally, she saw her, sitting on a chair in the first row. She was reading the paper, glancing up from time to time. She looked like anyone else, waiting for the speech to start. Dainty took a deep breath, and marched toward her.

She sat down next to the other witch. “I know what you’re doing,” she hissed.

The woman looked at her over her sunglasses, and raised an eyebrow. “What am I doing?” she asked.

“You’re going to make the governor’s pacemaker kill him. You’ll make us all look bad and kill an innocent politician.”

The woman laughed out loud. “Wrong, wrong and wrong,” she said. “There is no such thing as an innocent politician, and very few innocent men. I’m just bringing some chaos into their lives. And,” she grabbed Daintry’s wrist and gave her a grin, “I can’t imagine you would have gotten so close to me if you really knew what I was up to.”

Daintry tried to pull away, but she wasn’t strong enough. She felt her strength draining from her, as the other witch looked around her. She gave a little slash with her finger.

From all around them Daintry heard a series of clicks. People in the crowd fell, and those around them started screaming. Shouts were coming from behind the curtain on the stage.

Betty let go of the other girl’s arm. “Well, that solves that problem. Thank you, dear. We’ll have to work together

again.”

“You, you killed all those people,” the girl whispered. She was looking around at the screaming crowd, “Why?”

Betty shrugged, “They could use a little chaos, humans. Otherwise they get complacent and discontent. See you.”

With that she stood, and went on her way.

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12 Things Single Parents and Indie Writers Have In Common

I am not a single parent. I have a wonderful husband who is a great home maker. But I was a single mom for the first six years of my daughter’s life. Her dad and I were together, but we didn’t live together. (Long story.)

Now that I’m not a single mom anymore, I am an indie writer. Apparently I thought my life was too easy. Having done first one, and now the other, though, I’m seeing similarities. A lot of what I learned as a single parent has, in fact, made me a better indie writer. A lot of what I learned no one bothered to tell me, and I wish someone had. So if you yourself are a single parent, or an indie writer, here are 12 things to keep in mind.

You’re going to have to learn to take some shit

Not everyone approves of single parents or indie writing. People are going to tell you that you are wrong, and that you are making a bad decision. They will tell you that you are messing up your life, and that you need to just listen to them. Yeah, no. If I’ve learned anything over the course of my thirty years, it’s that people who are telling me to just listen to them about my life probably has nothing good to tell me. I had to make my own choice, and if that choice set my life difficulty on ‘nightmare’ then that’s on me. If you can, remove people from your life who would tell you that you are living it wrong.

Sleep? Yeah, that’s not a thing you’re really going to do for a little while

I didn’t get a full nights sleep until my daughter was a year and a half. Even when she started sleeping through the night, I was still up until all hours doing dishes or cleaning, or trying to sneak a little writing in. Then, of course, anytime she made a noise it woke me up, and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Now that I’m producing my own books, there is a constant stream of things that need done. Right now, I’m getting up crazy early to have time to write before the day job, then working on business hat stuff after the monsters are in bed. Most nights I’m averaging seven hours. Most. But I have pulled all nighters, getting stuff done. It’s not healthy to do often, but sometimes I’m just not going to get anywhere without it. Grow accustomed to finding out just how little sleep you can really live on.

Your day job is just one thing on a very long list of things that you need to do in a day.

This one is true for parents with co parents, too. I have a husband, and I still have so much more to do than just my day job. There’s still homework to help with, classes and appointments, grocery shopping. Then we’ll throw all my writing stuff on top of that. And when I was a single mommy, it was worse. There wasn’t going to be dinner unless I shopped for food, cooked it, and washed dishes to put it on. There would be no clean clothes unless I washed them. There was no such thing as coming home and crashing on the couch. There was come home, cook dinner, wash the dishes, play with the monster, put her to bed, clean the house, then crash hard. Now, replace all the cooking and cleaning with talking to book reviewers, making advertisements, editing and writing, and that’s what I’m doing now.

Honestly, I think I relax more at the day job.

You develop a love/hate relationship with overtime, and money in general

Maybe this one’s just me, but it’s still something I struggle with. My job offers overtime, most of the time. We don’t have to take it, but we can.

On the one hand, I love picking up overtime, because the money is good. And we can always use money. The monsters always need clothes, I want to go on vacation, the bills are crazy, we need so many things and food is freaking expensive.

But overtime takes away time you could be spending with your babies, or on your real passion, writing. Even now I feel bad working more, because I never feel like I’m spending enough time with my monsters. I always feel like I should write more.

I haven’t found a happy balance, so if anyone has suggestions, please let me know.

Not a lot of people really want to help you

Again, maybe this is just me, but my family was not super supportive when I had my monster. I got little to no help, and in fact was generally treated as though I’d done something very bad. No one had any intention of helping me with my mistake. And if they did help, I had better be damned grateful because they didn’t have to help, and I should remember that.

Indie writing isn’t as bad. Lots of successful indie writers want to help, much like other single parents want to help other single parents. But generally, most people are not going to be doing you any favors in the indie business.

All this is hilarious, given the next thing you want to remember.

Even though most people really don’t want to help you, everyone wants to tell you how to do what you’re doing

Boy, do they ever want to tell you how to do what you’re doing. Even if they’ve never been a single parent, or an indie writer. They want to tell you.

You shouldn’t let your daughter watch that movie. You should have a newsletter. You should be working more, or less. You should put your books on Amazon. You should dress her more like a girl. You shouldn’t talk about yourself on your blog. You shouldn’t cut her hair. You shouldn’t do your own cover artwork. You should take her to church, but not that church. You should have a huge following before you publish.

Please, if you get nothing else from this post, please learn to listen to advice with your head and your heart, not your fear and guilt. I can’t tell you how many things I did my first few years as a mommy because people told me I should. I was too afraid that I was screwing everything up to question whether what they were telling me was good for me and my little family or not. You all know the amount of crap I’ve tried, and failed at, with my writing career, because someone I admired told me it was a good or bad idea.

You will multitask like you breath.

Write rough drafts while supervising quiet play. Wash dishes while dinner is simmering. Edit on your lunch break. Write social media updates while the monsters watch cartoons. This is my life. I’ve learned what can be multitask-ed and what needs to have my full attention, after some pretty painful trial and error. But successful multitasking is a required skill for both the single parent and the indie writer.

Some of the best things happen in laundromats

I got a washer and dryer when we moved into the house, and I can’t even tell you how much joy this has brought me. Especially with a puppy who wets the bed. But part of me kinds of misses going to laundromats. I don’t even know why this is a thing, but some magical things happen at those places. I have had some amazing talks with my monster while we waited for the spin cycle. On the infrequent occasions when I went alone, I got some awesome writing done. I don’t even know why, but trust the magic of the laundromats.

There’s no such thing as according to plan

If you haven’t learned this yet, know that this is something indie writers and single parents live by. Rain drowns out park trips, people bail on you, computers die at the worst times, kids get sick. I have all these lovely deadlines for myself, but then things happen and I can’t realistically meet them. I have the best of intentions to get the whole kitchen cleaned up, and then I just can’t do that. Have back up plans, have contingency funds if you can save them up. If you can do it at all, start saving towards a $1,000 emergency fund. Plan for everything to go to shit, basically, and don’t feel like a failure when it does.

You can learn as much as you want, and you will still never feel like you know what you’re doing

And there is so much to learn! Countless books, blogs, classes, podcasts and magazines about indie writing and single parenting. You could start reading right now and never get through all of the information. (Theoretically. Really, when you break down all of this information, it’s usually the same info again and again.)

I learn everything I can, especially now while I’m still learning to be an indie writer. I still don’t feel like I know what I’m doing. I’ve been a mom for 12 years now. I still don’t feel like I know what I’m doing. It’s an anxiety that I will never get over.

You have got to put some energy into self care

This is not a joke. I know I just told you that I’ve been pulling some all nighters recently, and I know better!

I’m actually going to do a whole blog post about self care, it’s varying levels, and some tips to help you make sure you’re taking care of you on Sunday, so I’ll not go into it right now. But make you a priority, girls and guys. Insist up on it, or you’ll burn out. Some nights, when I was a single mom and suffering from more than a little postpartum depression, my version of self care was eating Oreos while binge watching Futurama. Was it healthy? Not physically. But it was about the only time I let myself just not accomplish anything. It was the only time I put down the to do list and just relaxed. So, mentally, it was very healthy.

Remember, you’re a superhero

One day you’re going to be in a position to look back on this time in your life. When you do, you’ll likely have a healthy child or a completed published book in your possession. You’re going to look at this time, and everything you did, and you’re going to have one question; How in the hell did you live through that?

How did you get through all the crazy work and worry? How did you get anything at all done? How did you just not spend those years in a crappy sweater, eating dry cereal at the end of the day? Most of all, how did you end up with this actual person, or real life book you’ve got now?

I’ll tell you how. You’re strong, and brave. You worked hard, and you deserve to feel proud. So feel proud now, and know that this isn’t how your whole life’s going to be.

It’s all worth it, in the end. I promise.

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It Takes Time To Be a Writer

Happy Mothers Day, to all Mammas, Step Moms, Mother In Laws, and anyone who’s been a maternal influence.

We’ve been lied to, all of us aspiring writers. Oh, it was with the best of intentions, as most lies are. But it was a lie, all the same. We have been told that it doesn’t take nearly as much time as we all think to become a great writer. We have been told, over and over, if we can devote whatever spare minutes we have in a day, we will prevail. We will become writers.

Well, I shouldn’t say that it’s a total lie. Every good lie has a kernel of truth, after all. If you are just trying to become a writer, short stories work very well in small segments of time. Even novel length manuscripts can be written like that. Sure, it can, I’ve done it. Often my short stories are written between calls at my day job. I’ve said the same thing. If you are establishing a writing routine in your life, and all you have is maybe five minutes while your little one takes a nap, or 15 minutes on the bus to work, you slay that time! You make that story, because it’s better than nothing. Yes, you can write a whole book, minutes at a time. And if you’re writing, you’re a writer.

But I’ve learned better. if you intend to do something with your writing, then it’s going to take more than little sips of time. And everyone needs to stop telling this lie, because it’s hurting writers.

It doesn’t take into account editing

If you’ve never sat down, and edited a long piece of work, this might be something you’re not aware of, but you can’t just edit a page at a time and expect awesome results. For one thing, you’ve got to see your piece as a whole so you can find and patch plot holes. Usually, when I’m rough drafting I can’t remember half of what happened in part one by the time I get to part three. So if I put a gun on the mantle, I forgot that it needed to go off. It can also be frustrating as hell. You read a flawed paragraph, and you free write to fix it. Then you don’t get to write it until later. I know, when this has happened to me, I’ve forgotten my brilliant fix by that time. Generally I try to not edit unless I’ll have at least an hour to commit to the project.

It doesn’t take into account submitting

When you’re looking for an agent or editor to send your work to, prepare to spend a lot of time online. Don’t forget that before an agent accepts you, you have to accept them. Do they represent your genre? Have they had successful sales recently? What’s their standing on Predators and Editors? Then, there’s the query writing process, which should not be rushed. Again, this can take up to an hour, at least, if you’ve been doing it awhile.

It doesn’t take into account learning about the craft

If you’re a writer, you’ve also got to be a reader. Read books for pleasure, yes, but also to learn from them. Read articles to learn, listen to podcasts. This takes time, man, lots of time. Sure, you can dip into a book for five minutes or so, but if you intend to finish the book there had better be a lot of five minute increments built into you day.

Not just learning, but practicing. Free writing, trying to write from a different POV, learning poetry forms, all of this takes time. And if you short change your practice, you short change your writing career.

It doesn’t take into account marketing

I don’t spend as much time on marketing and self promotion as I should, most likely. I’m getting better at it, but there are so many things to do. I send my book to book review sights, pitch it on social media, run ad campaigns, and all the other crap I do to make sure people hear about my books. It takes time, and traditional writers have to do a lot of this too, your publisher won’t always do it for you. Most writers have websites or blogs they maintain, like myself. PBW accounts for about four hours a week, easy. You might say that marketing isn’t really writing, and you’re totally right. But how else will anyone hear about your book? Sure, word of mouth is great, but it’s hard to get that when no one has read it at all.

It doesn’t take into account all the insane little things like getting a bar code, compiling a story into a book, or the hours and hours you can spend designing a damned cover.

I spent nearly a week preparing Days to be published. Not a week full of five minutes here and there, a week of two to four hours at a time working. It required time, it required focus. It required my monsters to be in school. I then spent hours getting everything on the Gumroad and Tablo websites. It wasn’t hard work, but it was time consuming work, and certainly not something I could have done a little at a time.

It discourages us from making serious lifestyle changes that could allow for better, longer writing sessions.

Deciding to be a writer, not as a hobby but as a career, is a commitment. And the further you get into it, the more it will demand of your time. For me, that meant I had to cut some things out of my life to make room for it. I cut my addiction to time management games, I stopped reading as many comic books, I narrowed the time I spend watching tv. Once I started valuing my writing time, I stopped talking to some people that, quite frankly, it was better for me to not talk to. I still spend time with the people I value. Not as much as I’d like, but that’s because of time and work constraints.

Not only have I cut bad habits out of my life, I’ve added good ones. I commit to writing time in the morning before work. I bring my writing with me, and work on it whenever I have time.

I’m really glad that I did all of those things. Writing has brought fulfillment to my life in such a way that nothing else but my children ever did. I miss my comic books, but it’s worth it to me.

Another thing I want you to keep in mind is that while I might be able to commit to an hour, five minutes at a time, I probably won’t get as much writing done as if I sat down for a whole hour and wrote. I didn’t have to stop and start so many times. Now, if I have just five minutes, I’ll take them. But I reach for those longer sessions, and I do what I need to to get them.

It makes us feel guilty that we’re not producing more

And this is the worst one, in my opinion. Telling people, “I did this, and I did it with just the end bits of time through my day,” makes some people, including me, feel guilty. What am I doing wrong that I can’t do the same thing? Why are her five minutes more productive than mine? Am I just stupid, what the hell is wrong with me?

No, stop that. Nothing is wrong with you, that person is lying. It’s the same mentality that makes people put on a full face of make up, take a selfie, then post it with a #nofilter #Iwokeuplikethis. No you didn’t you liar. We just all think we should be effortlessly beautiful, productive, patient and tidy. Well let me tell you, it’s not happening at my house, and probably not at yours either. If I’m going to have a productive day, I have to be up by 6:30 at the latest, at my desk by 7:00 and off to work by 9:15. Now, if I don’t manage that, I’ll fit in time whenever I can, but I really push to manage that. I have to.

Please, don’t think that this means that you don’t have the time to be a writer. It’s very likely that you do. And if all the time you have to give to it right now is five minutes, give that time. But you’re going to need more that than eventually. Anyone who tells you otherwise, is a liar.

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Clockwork Wonderland

So, my favorite book as a kid was Alice in Wonderland. I pretty much love everything related to it, including the Looking Glass Wars series, Wonderland the comic book, American Mcgee’s Alice, and of course the new Alice movies. So, of course I had to include Clockwork Wonderland.

If you’ve ever looked over the whole world of fiction and games that encompass Alice in Wonderland, and it’s not as well known sequel called Through The Looking Glass, and thought to yourself, “This just isn’t scary or horrifying enough,” then this is your jam. Am I the only one who hears a story and thinks it needs more ghosts popping out of mushrooms?

Genre- Horror

Word Count– 2,500 to 5,000

Deadline– Oct 31

Payout-$10

Wait Time– A decision will be made within three months of the due date.

Here is you link to the full submission guidelines.

 

 

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Red Pens

Throwback Thursday!

Nicole Luttrell's avatarPaper Beats World

Red pens. There’s a love hate relationship there with most writers. It starts in grade school the first time a teacher whips one out and starts going through your essay with it. “Tighten this, misspelling, run on sentence.” My biggest one was misspelling.

Even so, I love red pens. I have a lot of them, but I only use them for one thing, editing. It’s one of the reasons why I have to print out drafts, so I can go through them with red ink, crossing out and leaving similar notes as the ones my teacher would have left, but probably with more swear words. “Show, Don’t Tell!” I’ll write, or “Cliche, rewrite.” My favorite one, “You can do something better than this!” By the time I’m done, my manuscript is awash in red ink. Then the next draft isn’t so bad.

Why do we use red ink for editing?…

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Talking to People About My Writing

So, first of all, I have to tell you that I have the worst luck when it comes to computers. I swear, I can’t get through a draft without something bad happening to mine.

This time, it was my adorable, lovable puppy. He chewed through my power cord, thankfully when it wasn’t plugged in. I was able to fix it with some electrical tape, but that was only a temporary thing. If you’re reading this I’m back up and running now, because I can’t actually post anything without my computer. But as I write this, (in an email document) I’m desperately praying that my power cord comes soon, so that this posts on time. The moral here is, if you think you’ve fixed a power cord with electric tape, assume that it won’t stay fixed for long and order a new one right away. Also, maybe don’t have a puppy. (Kidding!)

Anyway, what I really wanted to talk to you about today was something totally different.

I want to talk about talking about my writing to other people, because it’s something that I struggled with, and still struggle with. Maybe it’s something that you struggle with too. Maybe we can learn from each other.

See, I have a hard time talking to people. I struggle with social anxiety, and it’s hard for me to talk out loud to people. I’m afraid I’ll be perceived as stupid, or lazy. This causes me all sort of anxiety when I send out query letters, approach book reviewers, post my stories here on PBW, and pretty much anything else that involves reaching out with my work.

Obviously, I have to get over this. Whether I end up going the traditional publishing route or the independent, I have to talk to people about my writing. But it can’t just be gotten over. Anxiety, much like the depression I fight with as well, is not something that you just ‘get over’. In fact, if you tell someone with a mental illness, even a mild one like mine, to get over it, there’s a good chance you’re an asshole.

Now, this might actually all sound like bullshit. I mean, it has to be. I publish two posts a week, am active on social media, and share at least two of my stories every month. I’ve published two books, sent my short stories off to editors hundreds of times, entered countless contests and have sent my my novels out to agents.

The truth is that I’ve come a long way with my anxiety. I’ve worked very hard, and still do just about every day. I’ve learned, over time, to find ways to combat my anxiety, and get my work out in spite of it.

One big thing I had on my side was that I’m not afraid of failing, just looking like an idiot. So a kindly worded rejection letter has never been a big deal to me. I wasn’t bad, other people were just better. I’ve also, every time I’ve ever sent a query out, just assumed that I was going to get a rejection letter, so that’s not an issue.

My biggest concern is that I’m going to be personally judged. Even my fiction also touches on my history. I worry that I share too much about my family, my personal failings, my life. Which is why, in a large way, I started this blog. It’s why I’ve always been very loud about when you could expect to hear from me. I’m scared of posting, but I’m way more scared of not meeting an expectation that I’ve told others to have of me.

Following other blogs that also dive into personal issues has also helped me a lot. I feel better about sharing my history when I see other bloggers do it. One has talked in depth about her divorce. Another has similar issues as me, coming from an abusive childhood. Reading their stories helped me. I realized that A. I wasn’t the only one who felt like this and B. sharing is good for both the reader and the writer. I thank God for the men and women who were brutally honest online, because it encourages me to do the same.

Some of it is just shutting down the critic in my head. Telling that part of my brain to shut the hell up. It can be hard, but if I repeat it often enough I get pretty far.

And this is why, my dear readers, I am constantly saying over and over, “I am a writer.” Because if I say it often enough, I can make myself believe it. So, when I’m stressing out over a query, I whisper it. When I don’t really want to press publish on a post, I say it out loud. And when I nearly cried over putting my books on Gumroad, I almost screamed about it. I am a writer, and this is what writers do.

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Aps For Writers

I did not receive any money for the post you are about to read. I didn’t get any gifts, either. This post is not promoted, in fact, in any way. It just so happens that I use all of the aps I’m going to tell you about almost every day on my smart device, and I don’t pay a dime for any of them. With that being said, I’d like to tell you about them as A. my way of saying thanks to the creators and B. a hopefully useful look at some common aps that help me manage my house, family, writing and day job. Some of them are common, but I think it’s worth it to go over how I use them and why I think they’re better than other aps that do similar things. Some others, though, are not so common, or at least not commonly seen as writing life aids.

For the sake of brevity, I’ve decided to include only aps I use on my tablet. Many of them I use on my computer as well. But I have not included computer only aps or programs. I plan on doing another post about those at some point, but it felt like that would just drag this one out too long.

The Common Aps you should be using

Evernote. I’m not going to drag this one out, because everyone already knows about Evernote. If you’re the one person on Earth who doesn’t, though, here’s a break down. It’s a note taking system that you can type into, draw into, speak into and attach internet files to. You can also set up checklists on it.

How I use it. Wow, how don’t I use it?
– I’ve scanned the monster’s medical records into it, so I have them at the doctors.
– The darling husband and I share our shopping lists so we don’t buy/forget to buy milk.
– I have my whole world bible for Woven on there, in neat little categories, so I have the information available to me anytime, anywhere I might be writing.
– I have a rolling list of PBW post ideas.
– My five year plan is in there, where I can’t spill coke on it. (Again)
– My book outlines go there, where they can be color coded (especially important when switching pov characters like I do), added too, taken from, and basically made unrecognizable by the end.
– The Paper Beats World style book is there.
– The Woven Master Timeline is there. (14 books and counting, you’d better believe I have a master timeline that I’m not going to lose if my house burns down.)
– A log of how long each draft took me to write for Woven. It helps me get an idea of what I’ll be doing for the year if I know how long it took me the last time I wrote a rough draft.

I use Evernote every day, is what I’m saying.

Trello. I could not write the number of books I write at the same time without Trello. Basically, it’s a way to keep track of different projects in one place. I have Trello folders for each of my upcoming short story collections, and I can add a ‘card’ for each of my stories as they’re done. On that card I can note if I’ve sent this story anywhere, and if I’ve yet published it on PBW.

I actually feel like there’s a lot more I could be doing with Trello. If any of you out there use it, please share with us how below.

Buffer– There’s a good chance that someone reading this right now found me due to social media, either Twitter or Facebook. Social media is one of the best ways to be discovered by new readers, and it’s a great boon for an indie writer. That being said, I don’t have the time to drop everything I’m doing during the day to tweet. So I use buffer to schedule my social media for me. Tweets get sent out at times my readers are most likely to see them, and I can fill my Buffer feed whenever. I also like the ability to make lovely inspirational images, which I’m sure you’ve noticed if you follow me on either Facebook or Twitter.

ToDoist– Before I talk about todoist, please understand that my planner obsession has led me to try every single to do app and planner that you can imagine. I tried writing my to do lists down in my planner, not enough room. I tried writing them in my bullet journal, it was redundant because so much of what I do needs repeated so often. I tried every damn app I could find, and was irritated that I couldn’t figure out how to have a task happen every day unless it was ‘every weekday’ or ‘on the weekends’.

Todoist is great for that. Repeating tasks is easy, you can set them to repeat literally at any interval. I’ve got my daily and weekly to dos on there, and I also use it to set a reminder to toss my mascara and toothbrushes after three months. I set it to remind me when something’s going to be automatically deducted. I can also color code it! I have never had a better to do app.

Google Docs– Because I write everywhere, I need to be able to write on my tablet and have it be on my computer when I get home. That was a requirement. I love that I can access Docs everywhere, and copy from there onto my WordPress site. I also use Google Spreadsheet for all of my business hat stuff, payments and such. It’s not a fancy tool, but it’s an important one.

Pomodoro Timer– And finally, this one is pretty self explanatory. I use the pomodoro method for just about everything from editing to housekeeping, and I highly endorse it. This is just a nifty little timer app that’s set for 25 minutes and gives you little motivational things like, “I believe in you!” and “You can do anything!” Quite frankly, it’s not fancy, but it gets the job done.

The uncommon apps you might not have thought about for writing

I’m not saying you’ve never heard of these apps. In fact, you might already have them on your smart device. But you might not be using them to their full writerly potential.

Pintrest– Why am I listing Pintrest here? It’s one I have to be careful with, because Pintrest can be a huge time sucker for me. I kind of see Pintrest as a portal that will suck me into Buzzfeed and blogs that will never let me go.

But I use Pintrest for one highly underrated thing. I create vision boards for my writing. Inspiration for characters, worlds, costumes, weapons, world building. It’s all there. If I’m feeling wholly uninspired, or just can’t remember that great detail about swords I found the other day, having the Pintrest app and access to my vision board anywhere I have internet access has been a huge help. I highly advise creating a vision board today.

Drop Box– Obviously Drop Box is a great way to back up your documents. I personally keep every draft and short story there, not just for security but so that the darling husband can access it to read them for me. I also love it because he takes a lot of pictures for me, and I can access them whenever once he’s put them on Drop Box.

Budget Tracker– I love this for my budgeting, love it so much. Part of my grand scheme of life is being able to spend as little time at work as possible. Good budgeting is essential to that overall goal. I love budget tracker because I can put my money in different categories, so I’m not overspending in one area and robbing another. I can also use it to separate my PBW money from the household budget. Listen, I am really bad at overspending, but this app makes it easier for me to see my ‘fun money’ or ‘household money’ going to zero before we start into the ‘savings’ money.

Morning Routine– I generally have to be up pretty early. I’m not thrilled with it, and anything before 7:00 feels like torture for me. With my shift changing at the day job, I have to get up before everyone else if I’m to be assured any quiet writing time at all. And my old alarm was way to kind with the snooze button.

Morning Routine has helped a ton for my morning zombie brain. It wakes me up with an adorable image of two chihuahuas fishing for the moon, and it just gets better from there. You can opt to turn this app off with a swipe or by scanning a certain bar code. (I opted for the swipe, because there are no common bar codes in my house. I think that option’s for people who don’t just buy whatever’s cheapest when they get to the store.) You also have an option to set your smart device to do a series of tasks. Mine is set to open Feedly so that I can read my feeds while I run to the bathroom and walk the dog. Then, when it’s time for me to be at my desk I get another alarm. Finally, a third one goes off an hour later, and pulls up todoist so I can see what else I have to do that day now that my writing time is done. This is a huge boon, since my brain doesn’t work until at least 8:30.

Calm– If you’re already using all these other apps to make your life run like a well oiled machine, you might be kind of tired. In fact you might, like me, feel like you’re brain is a rat running on a wheel for dear life. Sometimes, that rat needs to get off the wheel. Calm is good for this. In fact, it’s probably the best meditation apps I’ve used. I can set it for any amount of time, and it’s got a lot of different soothing images. And I don’t want to hear anyone tell me meditation isn’t important. You might not suffer from depression and Adult ADD like I do, but you can still benefit from it.

So, what do you think? Did I miss an app you use every day? Please tell us if I did, I love to learn about new apps.

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