Hi, my name is Nicole. I’m thirty years old and I routinely read young adult fiction. This is not a confession, I’m just telling you something that I do, that you should think about doing too.

Now, to be fair, I do write young adult and new adult fiction. I don’t write adult fiction for a reason. So, yeah, I’m biased. But I didn’t make this decision out of nowhere, you know. I did this because I love young adult and new adult fiction, and I’m not the only one. Hunger Games, Divergent, 5^th Wave, these are all popular series that have now been made into major movies. Grown ass adults are reading these books, and it’s not like Harry Potter that came out when we were kids and just finished up when we were adults. I understand entirely why this is happening, and here’s why.

Therapy.

This one only applies to books I’ve already read, especially if I read it as a child. It’s soothing to read a story I know, revisit fantastic worlds and reread favorite lines and paragraphs. For example, I reread The Giver every year on my birthday. It’s short, I can easily finish it in a day.

I highly advise, if you’re going through a stressful time, try rereading a book you loved as a child. I personally love Harry Potter, of course. I also reread Chronicles of Narnia and all of the Beverly Cleary stories. That’s one of the best things about having kids, actually. I have an excuse to reread The Mouse and The Motorcycle.

Great stories.

Young adult stories are the best! The adventure, the character development, the side plots! Never does a character learn and become a better person more than in a young adult book. I’ll use Edmond as an example, from Chronicles of Narnia. It’s not the best example, because it’s a little heavy handed. But it’s the earliest example in my life when I started out hating a character at the start of book one, and by book three (Voyage of the Dawn Treader) he was my absolute favorite person.

Complex moral issues that adult writers don’t seem to fuss with.

I don’t know why this is even a thing, but young adult stories seem to tackle important things that I think need talked about more than adult books. Maybe it’s because writers think adults are already set in their ways of thinking while young adults can still be manipulated. But I still want to read things like that. I wish we could see a little more of that in adult fiction, honestly.

Not as much sex.

Not that I’m against sex! I like it, and I’m not about to porn shame. But when I’m reading, I don’t want to read graphic sex scenes unless I bought a book specifically for that. If I got a fantasy book, I want dragons and swords and magic, not detailed sex. And I don’t know why, maybe I just have bad luck, but I have never read an adult book (except cozy mysteries) that didn’t have sex scenes. And I read a lot. Horror, fantasy, science fiction, historical fiction. Why does everything have to have sex? At least, in young adult work the sex is inferred, not explicit.

Fun characters.

Again, I don’t know why this should be so, but young adult book characters are more fun. Yes, some of the Game of Thrones characters are awesome, but as most of them are dead by now that doesn’t much matter now, does it?

My best example for this one is Tris from Divergent. She is a fun character to read about. She’s not a great person, sometimes she’s downright selfish. She’s not the brightest person, really slow at picking up on hints. But she’s a fun person to read about.

I hope you take two things away from this. If you’re looking for a new book, you might consider young or new adult. If you’re a writer, like me, you might consider writing like this, no matter what age range you’re writing for. Just saying.

I feel like I’m always behind, I swear. I intended to do a yearly goals update early in July and here it is, August and I’m just now getting around to it. Oh well, life happens. I think that might be the title of my auto biography, honestly.

Anyway, July is a crucial point in the year. It’s the magic halfway mark, and a good time to stop for a few hours, review what you’ve done so far, and make a plan to make the rest of your goals happen in the next six months. It’s also a great time to realize that one might have been a little drunk when they made their goals for the year, and it might need to be pruned the hell back. Marketing Creatively had such a great article about a mid year review. You should check it out and do a review of your own.

So, in the spirit of honesty, here’s where I am for the year. I started out sharing three big goals with you guys.

• Make actionable content.
• Write awesome stuff.
• Make money writing.

So, I kind of scrapped the first one, as I started writing more personal essays and complaining about politics instead. I think I’m going more toward the second goal, of writing awesome stuff.

Now, awesome is a relative term, obviously, but I have been producing a ton of new short fiction, which I’m pretty psyched about. I wanted to write eight new short stories this year, and I’ve done that. I’ll actually be increasing that goal, since I want to publish new short fiction every week.

I’ve finished the second draft of Starting Chains. I’m almost done with the rough draft of Missing Stitches. I am about to start the third draft of the secret project. (I know, I’ve been talking about this since January without actually talking about it. It’s coming soon, I haven’t forgotten!)

Sadly, though, I have made no money writing. If we’re going to use that as a measure of my great indie writing experiment, it’s been a failure so far. No one has paid me for my writing.

But a lot of people have read it. A lot of people have read my stories, shared my stories and liked my stories. I’ve had the opportunity to give away several copies of Days, and that made me pretty happy.

So, I’m doing okay. I wish I were farther along, but I’m not, And I’m not going to waste a second being pissed at myself about that. It takes time away from getting shit done, playing with my kids and shopping for makeup. Here, then, is my list of remaining goals for the last six months of 2016. They’re a little more specific, because at this point they need to be.

• I want to finish and launch the secret project. I’m estimating that this should be happening in late September, early October.
• I want to finish the rough draft of Missing Stitches. This is going to be kind of bitter sweet, since it’s the last book of the trilogy, and when it’s done I’m putting these characters away for a while. So while I’ll still be editing for a year, I won’t have any new stories from them.
• I want to completely finish Starting Chains, the second book in the series.
• I want to at least make a start on the second draft of Missing Stitches. This is always the longest part of a novel for me, because I’m basically ripping up the first draft and starting over again now that I know what doesn’t work. Also, it takes me forever to type it.
• Finally, I want to keep writing flash and short fiction to post here on PBW every week.

Now then if you haven’t done so already, you should take some time to do a mid-year review. I’d advise starting with the Marketing Creatively review, but I’d advise a further step. I have a series of steadfast rules that I apply to making goals. I would highly suggest, for your own wellbeing, that you give them a try.

1. Plan for days off. Start with your birthday and the birthdays of those you love most (for me that’s the monsters and the darling husband.) Then factor in holidays that are going to take up your time. Then any vacations you’re planning. Finally, I plan a day off a month if none of the other things apply.
2. Don’t make goals based on things that are out of your control. This is something I still find myself doing, and I had to go through and kill a lot of goals I made at the start of the year because of that. I don’t make goals, for instance, that involve getting a certain amount of readers. Or selling a certain amount of books. Those things are entirely out of my control. What is in my control is how good my writing is. How good was my advertising? Did I send it to enough book reviewers, the right book reviewers? Did I get the word out effectively? Did I make it easy to find and buy my book? Those are things that I have control over, and those are things that I make goals concerning.
3. Finally, make two lists. The first one should be a realistic list, that takes into consideration your time constraints. This is the totally attainable list. You can break this down by the month, the week and the day, and you know you can achieve these goals.

Now double it. Make a list of everything you really want to do this year. Make the list of things that, if you were done with them by the end of the year, you’d be over the moon excited about. If you had all the time in the world, no other responsibilities and everything went your way.

You’re going to blow through your first list, and you probably won’t finish your second one. At least, that’s what I do every time. I still need both lists, though, because if I only had the first one, I’d not get as much awesomeness accomplished. If I only had the second list, I’d get discouraged. That’s why I have two lists.

How are you going on your goals for the year? Anything awesome that you want to brag on? Let us know in the comments below.

“I heard that Harper Lee died, and you were the first person I thought of,” said one of my friends.

“Hey, you’re big into movies, aren’t you?”

“The church bells were playing The Eagles, and I thought of you.”

“I heard about this Harry Potter book party, and I had to tell you about it!”

These are just a few of the things that people have said to me recently that made me just puff up with pride. Well, actually the first one made me break out into sobs, because that was the first I’d heard that Harper Lee died, but still. To be associated with those things that I loved, because I had made it so known that I was a fan of those things, was amazing.

It’s only been recently that I’ve started to talk to people I don’t live with. Unless I was being forced to, that is. I’m an introvert, and being social is draining on me under the best of circumstances and incredibly stressful if things aren’t just so. So for me to tell people the things I was into, not happening. Heaven forbid someone disagreed with me. I mean, what if I told someone that I liked fantasy novels and they told me that they liked Eragon? Or worse, the dreaded, ‘I don’t read’. Even worse than that was talking about something real, something personal. What if they judged me about something that matters, like parenting or politics?

It took a lot of work on my part, and a lot of patience on the part of a lot of other people, to get me to the point where I would be honest about how I felt about things. But the benefits have been wonderful.

The best part, by far, is being the first person someone thinks of when they think of Harper Lee. So own yourself, and be honest about it.

I’m writing this on July 20th. So while you’re reading it, somewhere down the line, this day has passed. But today, July 20th, is a very important day to me.

As of today, I’ve been working on my book series, Woven, for three entire years.

Three years, three books (including the one that I’m working on now) 54 query letters. Not a day has passed that I haven’t at least thought about Woven. Three years of slow progress, inch by inch, to get to where I am. By the way, I’ve only been at my current day job for two and a half years, and I’ve been married for a year and a half. Just saying.

I want to talk to you for a minute, though, about those 54 queries. It took me something to actually share that number, because that means 54 people have politely declined my book. That’s okay, I’ll keep sending it to new places, trying new agents and new publishers. Eventually, I know, I’ll find someone who wants to represent Woven.

But, hey, maybe I won’t.

I think I’ve told you before, the story of how I prayed and prayed over Woven, over especially Devon, who was the first character I came up with. Of how I sat in Diamond Park here in Butler, PA, (the same park that I would later be married in) and prayed on paper.

I prayed that I wouldn’t lose this one, that I would be able to see this story through until the end. Now, at the time I’ll admit I didn’t think the end would be after thirteen books, but still. I prayed that I would finish them. I prayed that I wouldn’t lose this story.

I didn’t pray that it would get published.

There’s a chance that I’ll never be able to sell Woven. There’s a chance that someday I will get tired of waiting and publish it myself, or simply go on to write something else and keep trying to sell Woven on the side. I’ll never stop writing, I’ll never give up. But there is a chance that Woven will not be traditionally published. And I’m okay with that, because Woven was there for me when I needed it to be.

When I started writing Woven, I was in a really bad place. I hated my job, and I worked way too many hours. So, I started writing to give myself some sort of outlet, something to take personal pride in.

Then, my daughter was kidnapped from school by her birth father. Then I was fired from my job the day after Black Friday. Then my husband ended up in the hospital the day after Christmas with his heart. Well, they say bad things always come in threes.

Here’s the thing. When you’re dealing with custody law, and looking for a new job in the middle of the Christmas season and dealing with a serious medical issue, or even all three at freaking once, there’s a lot of down time. There’s a limit to how much you can do emotionally, and realistically as well. When all this was going on, I had this constant need to do something, and lots of time when there just wasn’t anything to do. Especially during the time I wasn’t working. I was terrified of sinking into a depression that would have rendered me incapable of doing what I needed to do to fix these situations.

Working on Broken Patterns saved me then. It gave me an escape, and something to pour my panic minded energy into when I had nothing else to do. I finished that rough draft in six weeks, a feat I don’t think I’ll ever be able to duplicate.

Don’t worry, all is fine now. My daughter came home nine months later. I got a way better job where I make more money and work less hours. Also, the whole being treated like a valued human being thing is a fun perk. The husband is loads better and now part cyborg. (He had a defibrillator put in.) And I had a novel.

I’ll keep writing, no matter what happens. And on this day, every year, I’ll mark how far I’ve come and what writing has given me. Even if I’m never published, this has been more than enough of a blessing.

Most of you know that I recently turned 30. It’s a milestone birthday, one that I considered pretty significant. I feel like I’ve now fully transitioned from a girl to a woman.

Okay, I know how monumentally stupid that has to sound to a lot of you who’ve read PBW for a while. I have two, not one but two, children who are turning twelve this year. How could I have possibly still considered myself a kid when I had kids myself?

Because I was. Here’s a secret that most people don’t know. Having a baby doesn’t mean you grow up right away. Being responsible doesn’t make you a grownup either. Lots of teenagers have serious responsibilities like jobs, caring for sick relatives, looking after younger siblings so that their parents can work.

This is different for everybody. It’s a very personal thing, growing up, and no one can really tell you at what point you are now an adult. Here, though, is what this transition looked like for me.

I’ve started actually caring about what I put in my body for healthy reasons.

I don’t care about being skinny, I’m just not built that way. I don’t care about being sexy, I already am. But I know that diabetes runs in my family, and I don’t want to lose a foot. So I’m careful about my diet. I’m eating less sugar, and more fresh food. More lean meats. And I avoid fast food with very few exceptions. Again, not because I care to look a certain way, but because I want to keep my health for as long as I can.

I’ve started caring more about my health in general.

Just overall, I’m becoming a healthier person. I’m taking vitamins, going to the doctors on time, exercising, meditating, getting enough sleep. You know, all the things we make our kids do when they’re little, and forget to do for ourselves. I’ve reached that age where I’m realizing that my day’s just a whole lot better if I’ve done these things.

I’ve learned what to invest my money in, and what not to.

Here’s a good rule of thumb. The longer you intend to keep something, the more money you should invest in it. If you’re one who likes makeup, consider the difference between foundation and lipstick. When you find a foundation that works for you, you can probably be comfortable using the same one, maybe a few different shades depending on the season. Lipstick, though, I change like the weather. So while I’ll put up to $30 on a good foundation, I’ll not spend more than $8 on a lipstick.

I’ve learned what to invest my time in, and what not to.

I spend a lot of time talking about time management, ironically, so I’m not going to bore you here. I’ll just say that I don’t watch as much tv as I used to. I don’t waste as much time as I used to. I don’t spend time with people I don’t want to anymore. I think this stems from the fact that every year, every single year, seems to be going faster. I swear it was just January last week. I can’t believe my kids are turning twelve, I’m convinced they’re still seven. It’s not so much that I pine for the time that’s passed, just that I don’t think that it feels real. I’m realizing, more and more, that I am going to get old. I’m not there yet, not by a long shot, but it’s coming.

This realization makes you value your time more.

I’m pickier about my entertainment.

This goes hand in hand with being more careful about my time. My down time is limited, so I am far more intentional about what I spend it doing. I just did a whole post about why I’ll abandon a book, and I have the same criteria for quitting on a movie, even halfway through. I just don’t want to waste my time on comedians, writers or musicians that I don’t like. There are too many out there I do like.

I’m quicker to say what I think, and slower to care about it.

And I can’t tell you what a relief it’s been, not hiding my honest opinion. My emotional health has skyrocketed, and my stress is way down. And it’s so simple! Be honest about how you feel, tactfully. That’s all there is to it. “Look, you’re a great person, but this thing you did pissed me right the hell off.” That’s all there is to it.

The important thing here, though, is accepting the same when people do it to you. That is to say, if you finally get the nerve to tell you aunt that you don’t like her turkey recipe, and she tells you that she doesn’t like your pecan pie, you don’t get to be mad.

You see how freeing this can be, though. You don’t have to put up with things you don’t like anymore. Sometimes those things are going to be people, and maybe that’s okay, too. But when I started being honest about my feelings on politics, social issues, food, music, clothing and every other damn thing in my life, an amazing thing happened. The people in my life respected that. The ones that didn’t aren’t there anymore, and I don’t miss them.

I’m thinking more about the future.

I feel like when we’re kids, we’re very in the moment. I have always planned, but mostly for the week, month or year I was in right then. I’m not that way anymore. I can appreciate the moment, don’t get me wrong. I’m having a good day today, and I’m living that day. But I’m also thinking about things like what we’re going to do when we retire. I’m thinking seriously about our house, whether we want to rent to own it, or if we want to move again. If we move again, should it be before or after the kids move out? What am I going to do when they move out? That day seems a lot closer on this side of ten. I have a lot of changes to plan for in my thirties, and I want to deal with these changes intentionally. I want to be playing offense, not defense. (Sorry, preseason starts next month and I’m already getting pumped. #Steelernation!)

So, what do you think? Do you consider yourself a kid still, or do you feel all grown up? Why? Let us know in the comments section.