Ten toxic lies I believed about being a writer

I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was thirteen years old.

Thirteen years old is still basically a child, despite the insistence to the contrary by any thirteen-year-old. And some Republican lawmakers. Children don’t have a very good grasp of what their dream careers actually look like. When a kid wants to be a doctor they don’t imagine the paperwork or fighting with insurance companies. And when a kid dreams of being a writer, they don’t picture staring at a screen with a brain that can’t give them anything but the lyrics to the Carmon Sandiego theme song.

My perception of what a writer does and what kind of lives they live have changed dramatically in the two-plus decades since I was thirteen. My perception of a lot of things has changed, thank God. But some of these toxic beliefs followed me further into adulthood than I’d like to admit. Some of them didn’t go away until I started meeting and spending time with other writers.

Some of these still haunt me today. So I wanted to share them with you. To call them out for the limiting bullshit they are.

All writers are very serious people

I thought this about college professors, too. Until one asked during a Zoom convention panel if another panelist’s dog was ‘pickupable’.

I love that man.

This one really messed with me, because I am not a very serious person. I am a very silly person. I like watching children’s shows and painting with my cats.

But no, you don’t have to be a serious person to be a writer. Even if you’re going to write about serious things.

All writers are very smart people

All you have to do is meet a few writers to know this one’s bullshit. Or read some books that have been published by actual publishing companies.

This was great news to me, though, because I do not consider myself a very smart person anymore that I consider myself a very serious person. I am clever. I am smart about many things, but not everything. About some things, I am a dingus.

That’s kind of the human condition, though. So please don’t ever feel like you’ve got to be smart all the time to be a good writer.

Writers write all the time

And I mean, all the time. Real writers, as I thought when I was a kid, want to write all the time. They skip meals, don’t go out, have trouble keeping a day job, and make terrible partners because they just don’t want to do anything at all but write.

Or read.

And while that seems lovely in theory, it’s not exactly realistic. For one thing, most of us do not want to write and read all the time in the same way that we don’t want to eat ice cream and sushi all the time. It sounds fantastic until you do it. Then you realize you miss French onion soup.

You are allowed to enjoy other things and still be passionate about writing. This world is too full of amazing experiences to limit ourselves. Even if it’s our very favorite thing.

Writers are often tortured by their work

How often do we see this in the media? A writer is suffering from writer’s block. They can’t think of an ending. They can’t get their character right. Their plotlines are more tangled than secondhand yarn.

It’s tearing them apart, Lisa!

Look, I’m not going to say that I never feel messed up when my writing isn’t going well. But it doesn’t wreck my whole day. Rather, it’s a puzzle I’ll keep coming back to. A song that gets stuck in my head because I don’t know all the lyrics. But most writers aren’t chain-smoking because they can’t get a line of dialog right.

Writers focus more on their work than their family

Maybe this is just the inherent guilt I felt being raised in a church that discouraged women from doing anything for themselves. But yes, I understand this concern very well.

Let me tell you, it’s not going to kill your family to deal without you for an hour. And no, writing will probably not, as we already discussed, take all of your time away so you have no time to care for the people who depend on you.

Drinking makes you a better writer

I don’t know where this one got started. I can’t write well when I’m drinking. I can’t even string sentences together without using fuck like a comma. I’m sure not writing anything worth a damn.

Worse, being dependent on a muse that comes from a bottle (or other places) only kills you. You need to be healthy to write. Overindulging in drinking isn’t a healthy decision.

Stay safe, drink tea.

The only way to be a real writer was to be traditionally published.

Boy howdy, was this one wrong. And because I was so sure that this was the truth, I jumped in with both feet for the first company that would take me.

We see how that turned out.

Self-publishing used to be laughed at. But these days it’s a respected option and one that I am so glad to see.

Once you are traditionally published, your career is on lock

I think we also know that this one didn’t work out how I thought it would.

Anything can happen in the publishing industry. Your company can liquidate. Or drop you. Or decide to break your contract. Or maybe your book doesn’t sell as well, so they refuse to buy any more books from you. The point is, just because you have a published book doesn’t mean you’re set. You’ve still got to put in that hustle.

Writers don’t bother with social media

Maybe this is just because I’m a bit older, but I never thought writers would be on social media as much as we are. And honestly, I love it. I keep up with my favorite writers and my writing friends. Social media also allows me to let people know what projects I have going on.

Real writers only write books or poetry

This one is a killer. So many writers write screenplays, scripts, podcasts and blogs. There are some fantastic writers on Wattpad.

Yes, I am a novelist. But I’m also a scriptwriter. I’m also a professional critic and blogger. These are all also valid writing. And even if I didn’t write novels, I would still be a real writer.

Remember, all you have to do to be a writer is to write. Everything else is a bonus. But also, don’t develop a drinking problem.

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