Limetown series one overview. A huge letdown.

Okay, I have to start this out with an apology. I wrote a review of the first two episodes of Limetown, and I recommended it to you all. I thought it was going to be great. I thought it was going to be true to the podcast. I thought it was going to be worth your time to watch.

After finishing the show, I can confirm to you that it is, in fact, not worth watching it at all. It was such a disappointment, an absolute spit in the faces of the original creators. 

Let’s break down why shall we?

I’d like to start with Deirdre Wells. They decided to cast Marlee Matlin as Deirdre. If you’re not familiar with this incredible actress, let me tell you a few things about her. I first saw her on West Wing, where I fell in love with her. She’s funny as hell, a great actress, and also happens to be deaf. 

If you know about Limetown already, then you know that the town was testing tech that allowed people to hear other people’s thoughts. Now, I’m sure you can imagine that a deaf woman would be more interested in that than most. The ability to communicate, actually communicate with people after not being able to for most of your life would be too magical for words. They could have explored that. They could have gotten into how it was to be isolated her whole life, and then feel even more isolated when other people got the tech and she didn’t.

But they didn’t’ bother to do any of that. This was one of the few things that a show could have done so much better than a podcast. I mean, you can’t convey the actions of a deaf person in a purely audio medium. That sort of feels like a dick move. But no, there was none of that. She was just deaf, and they didn’t do anything with it.

What they did do instead was completely ruin the relationship between Dierdre and Max. If you recall from the podcast, Dierdre was all but convinced Max didn’t love her all that much. She was largely surprised when she heard that he’d called out “Goodbye Dorothy,” right before he died. She seemed more angry at him than anything. Like long term anger. One that had smoldered to a low blaze through the years. And Max? Max didn’t mention her at all.

Now, let’s talk about what really ruined the show for me. It was a specific thing, and it had a name.

Lia.

I touched on this in the first post I did about the show. I loved Lia in the podcast. She was sweet, smart and cared about what she was doing. And she really, really, didn’t give a shit about her uncle Emile. She didn’t remember him, didn’t realize the connection he had with her.

This was incredibly important if you read the prequel novel. Emile stays with his brother’s family for some time, and he has this great connection with Lia. It’s suggested but never said out loud, that he can’t hear Lia’s thoughts. That was important to him. Lia was important to him. So the fact that she doesn’t even remember their bond is heartbreaking. It means something that’s felt deeply. And this show just pissed all over that.

I especially hated what happened to Mark. It was ugly, it was brutal, and it was completely unnecessary. It just made me feel sick. And look, I’m all about the flawed hero character. I love flawed heroes. But there is a difference between a flawed hero and someone I just really genuinely hate. This made Lia into someone I hated.

Now, let’s talk about Emile showing up on the second to last episode. What in the hell was that? It didn’t make any sense for him to show up. And it made no sense, how Lia reached to him.

This whole show she’s having some sort of crisis because she wants to find her uncle. Then he shows up, right out of the blue, and asks her to come with him. And she says no. 

She hasn’t done a damn thing all season that wasn’t selfish. She’s done all these horrible things and she claims that it was all for the survivors. But it wasn’t, it was for her. But when the time came, she didn’t take what she’d been searching for all this time. 

But she didn’t. Now, this makes sense for the Lia of the podcast. She cared about the story, not her uncle. She would have turned him down. But the Lia of the show would have gone with her uncle all the way. 

Now finally, I want to point out something that I thought was done almost to perfection. The last episode was almost perfect.

Lenore was great. The actress, the lines, the execution. Everything about her was wonderful. All through this last episode were little added scenes that did add something to the story. It was masterfully done.

Maybe it was so good because Lia was hardly on the screen.

So that’s it. I have nothing more to say on the subject of this show. But I do have some advice for the creators. 

Don’t bother with a season two. Get season three of the podcast done instead. 

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing: A review

Hank Green is one of my favorite YouTubers. He does some of the coolest science shows, including Scishow. I adore him.

When we stumbled upon his book, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, in our local bookstore, the husband and I had a bit of a disagreement. He was insisting to me that this was Hank Green, the Youtuber. I was sure that this was Hank Green, the author of A Fault in our Stars. Needless to say, the husband won that argument. John Green is the author of A Fault in our Stars, and he’s Hank Green’s brother. Oops, my bad.

But that’s not really what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to talk to you about this book. Because it’s really good. And if you haven’t read it yet, you should. 

It’s not like anything I’ve ever read before. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. The story imagesis about a statue that appears out of nowhere on a New York Sidewalk. April May, the main character, puts up a video on Youtube about it, saying that it was a shame that no one was paying attention to this impressive art piece. She named it Carl and thought that would be the end of it.

By the next day, everyone was paying attention, because the Carl’s had shown up all over the world, all at the same time. And she was the first person to say anything about it online. For this reason, April May and her friend Andy become overnight celebrities.

As mankind starts investigating Carl, it becomes clear very soon that no one’s seen anything like this before. 

One of the things you realize right off the bat about this book is that the main character, April May, is a real person. She’s not always nice she’s often selfish and self-centered. She’s a mess, emotionally. And I love that. I love that she’s relatable. I love that. Not only because it makes her a much more entertaining and relatable character. But also because it kind of ties into the whole storyline. A lot of this book involves watching April May go from a very private person to the most well-known person in the world. So it’s a constant reminder that she’s a real person behind the celebrity.

I was impressed with Green regarding one aspect of April May’s character. She’s bisexual. Hank Green is, obviously, not a bisexual woman. I’m also not a bisexual woman. But I am a woman, and I think he did a great job writing a female character. He handled a sensitive situation well. 

Andy was also a well-written character. Though I’m pretty sure he’s basically the stand-in for Green. His mannerisms certainly reminded me of him.

Now, let’s talk about the closest thing this book would have to an antagonist, Peter Petrawicki. Let me tell you, I hate him. I hate him a lot. Possibly because he largely reminds me of Ben Shapiro. They’re both megalomaniac fear mongers who don’t care what happens to people so long as they’re inciting their base to buy their books. Both are responsible for encouraging others to violence, but neither is willing to take responsibility for their hand in things. And both of them made a large amount of money for writing books that are pretty much bullshit.

Is it clear that I don’t like Ben Shapiro? I hope so because I don’t. And I pictured his stupid little rat face every time I read about Peter. Basically, well done on this character. I really hate him.

Now, I do have to say that it took me a long time to get into this book. At first, it was largely about how April and Andy were dealing with this newfound celebrity status. That part drug on for a long time, to be honest. And I was bored to tears.

Until very suddenly, I wasn’t. I hate to ruin it for you, but there’s a distinct turning point in the story that grabbed me and did not let me go. So if you start reading this book and feel like it’s not your cup of tea, keep with it. Trust me, the ending is worth it.

As of right now, there’s no information on the sequel. But I can assure you, I’ll be on the lookout. And you’ll be the first to know.

Scary Stories the movie review

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen this movie yet, there are spoilers. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark, by Alvin Schwartz is one of a long list of books I cherished as a child. Hell, I’m lying. I still read these damn books sometimes, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Pretty sure my whole generation was touched by this trilogy. The stories were great, I’ve got four or five of them memorized. But what made these books memorable, what dialed my little horror-loving heart up to eleven, was the artwork! Holy shit, this artwork, man. If you haven’t seen it, where the hell have you been? But here are some examples.ss book pic one

ss book pic two

Creepy, right? They’re the best.

Now, movies made of beloved books of my childhood are something that I try to not bring up in polite society. I tend to get angry, and then I tend to get foul-mouthed. Like, more than normal. And seeing as how I’ve managed to slip four curse words into the first paragraph of this post, and this is something that I’m writing professionally, that should tell you something. Do you know that meme about someone being five drinks in and using fuck like a comma? Yeah, that’s me when talking about The Chronicles of Narnia books.

But when I saw the first trailer for Scary Stories, I had high hopes. I felt sure that this movie was going to be epic because they got the most important thing right. They got the artwork perfect! Of course, that could mean nothing. Just because the effects guys were epic, that doesn’t mean the writers knew what they were doing. The actors might have been shitty. There were lots of things that could have gone wrong.

Now that I’ve finally managed to sit down and watch the movie in full, I can say that my worst fears were not realized, and my greatest dreams were dashed. Let’s get into why.

The good

Within seconds of the movie starting, the husband and I both said that this movie had a strong Stranger Things feel. It was in a similar time frame, similar casting. The whole thing just had kind of the same feel. To the point that we spent a lot of time making jokes about calling Hopper. He’d have taken the racist police chief to task. And boy, did that idiot need to be taken to task. More on that later. But the movie benefited from that Stranger Things feel.

Scary Stories and Stranger Things are both part of a group of horror fiction that I enjoy. Lots of scary, small amounts of gore, and everyone keeps their pants on! So it’s great for the kids who are old enough to handle some scary stuff and the occasional oh so repeatable swearword. But you don’t have to have any sort of Labyrinth type conversations with kids who’ve never seen a bulge, bare ass or anything like that. Another option, if you’ve got kids that age, are the Paranormal Activity movies. Monster House is another great one.

Scary stories HaroldProbably my favorite thing about this movie was that the design team brought the artwork to life and it wanted to kill people. Harold looked just how you’d expect Harold to look. Which is to say, scary as hell. You remember Harold, the vengeful scarecrow. He’s had a dark, seeping, terrifying place in my nightmares for most of my life. He’s back now, with some horrifying movements and sounds to work with. Yay?

Oh, and the Jenga Man! If you haven’t seen this movie yet, let me not spoil this moment that made me, a thirty-three-year-old woman, scream. If you’ve seen it, please leave a note in the comments and tell me if I’m the only grown-ass adult who was creeped right out of their skin by that thing.

While honestly not the best thing about the movie, the storyline wasn’t bad. It was better than I was expecting, but then my expectations were pretty low. It revolves around a child killer named Sara Bellows. Her family locked her away, and she told scary stories to the children of the town. Then she murdered them. At least, that’s how the story goes.

Our main characters find themselves locked in the house on Halloween night, after tricking a bully and running from his vengeance. There they find one of Sara’s books. Stella, the horror freak and writer, takes the book with her. Horror ensues when the book starts telling stories. Stories that come true. It’s not an original story, but it’s pretty good. Like I said, way better than I thought it would be.

The cast of characters was really good. I loved Stella, I was Stella as a child. Auggie and Chuck were the boys I wish I would have been friends with. Auggie was too smart for his good, and Chuck was funny as hell. And then there was Ramon. He was a remarkably well-written character. Every character seemed like a real kid this age. Which is refreshing.

Now, of course, I am a writer. I’m a storyteller. And that’s kind of a big thing about this movie. Stories have power. Words have power. And that’s my favorite thing ever.

Can I also point out that this story was set near Pittsburgh? And I think you all know how much I love my city. Also, not bragging, but Night of the Living Dead was filmed here. We are the home of zombies, just saying.

Hey, so let us talk about how they handled racism. Because they handled it well. The way the police harassed Ramon the whole movie is sadly realistic. And I want that to be a conversation that we’re having. Kids should have that conversation with their parents.

The bad.

Okay, I know I praised the storyline, and it was good. But I have to say that the antagonist’s reasons were pretty heavy-handed. I don’t want to get too much into it because spoilers. And I get it that this is a movie meant for children. That doesn’t in any way mean that we need to get beaten over the head with the moral of the story. Stories can have morals. I don’t mind morals. I can enjoy it. But I don’t need to be knocked the hell out.

Now, I hate to have to do this. But there was one thing that made me hate this movie. It was the last five minutes. The last five minutes were so damned rushed, so damned tossed together. There were so many questions, without any good answers. There’s nothing wrong with an open ending to a movie. There are lots of things wrong with feeling like I have no idea what the hell just happened.

Finally, look, I hate to be that guy. But war is, um, bad. And the Vietnam war was really bad. The people who were drafted into that war were treated as disposable and it’s a stain on our country’s history. I personally have known several men who were drafted and came back broken. A whole generation of our people was shattered. We owe them an apology. The last thing we need to do is brainwash another generation of young men into thinking that if they don’t go overseas to kill people they’re cowards. Our men and women of the armed forces are heroes, but there are other ways to be a hero. Standing up for peace is heroic too. Just saying.

That’s about it. I recommend Scary Stories, I don’t care how old you are. I loved almost every minute of this movie, except for the last five.

By the way, I wanted to let you know that a lot of things ended this last week. American Horror Story, Limetown of course. And I finally finished An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. So, stay tuned for those.

Winter sucks! Here’s six new ways to survive for 2019/2020

November always manages to kick my ass. Nanowrimo and the holidays combine and call upon the force of seasonal depression to kick my ass. And every year I learn new things to help keep the winter feels away. I’ve embraced Hygge, focused on meditation, started taking a D vitamin and an antidepressant prescribed by my doctor. All those things totally help. But, I’m always learning and always growing. And today I’m sharing six things I’m doing to keep my life and mind in a good place this winter. And, really, all year round.

The Alistair method

I just found this new way to do a weekly spread in my bullet journal from this BohoBerry video. If you haven’t heard of this, check out the video. I can’t tell you how much better this makes me feel. Instead of looking at a whole week’s worth of activities, I can see just what I need to do each day. It also allows me to write things I need to do as they come to my brain, and still prioritize my actions by day. I’m also able to realize if I’m heaping way too much on one day. Which I have a bad habit of doing.

So many plants!

Last winter, I bought a cactus. Then, I bought a few more. Now I have basil, lavender, three aloes, my original cactus, and a pot of something that I didn’t mean to grow, but I’ll be damned if I’ll kill it now. I also have some moss on a rock that just seemed to want to come home with me. I’m hoping to grow peppermint and sage soon.

Bringing green life into my house is something I’ve struggled with. Focusing on plants that seem to not want to, you know, die at the slightest provocation, has helped.

Learning new things

I mean, I’m always learning new things. But it helps me in the winter to have something new and shiny to put in my brain. On the worst day, I have something to look forward to. I’ve been learning about reading tarot, that’s been fun. I’m also taking a ton of classes on Futurelearn. Always, learning, always growing. That’s the secret to being excited about every day. Well, that and coffee.

Chore charts

Yeah, that’s right. A chore chart. Just like when you were a kid. I’ve developed a chore chart based heavily on what I learned about myself and my needs while going through the Flylady’s 30-day course. I know what I need to do to keep control of my house, and what I’m capable of doing every day.

Why is this important? It’s not because I’m someone who requires a clean and orderly house to rest my weary head. It’s because once my house gets to a certain level of insanity, I become like a deer in the headlights. I can’t move, can’t think of what to do. I also can’t relax or even make a cup of tea in peace. Spending fifteen to thirty minutes a day to keep my house in order helps keep me sane.

And for those of you rebelling, that it doesn’t matter what your house looks like, listen. I deserve to have a clean home for me. You do too. It’s not for your mom, your roommate, your spouse. It is for you.

Focusing on therapeutic yoga in the morning

My upper back’s been killing me recently. Not sure why yet. Probably that I’ve been sitting at desks too often and I’m getting to an age where my body’s just not down for that. But, whatever it is, I’ve been doing this yoga sequence to help. And let me tell you, it has. It has.

No matter how busy I am in the morning, I fit in this yoga sequence. Because pain is the teacher the Universe resorts to if you won’t listen to any other. If you’re not in any overall pain, start taking measures to keep it that way right now. Don’t let yourself get to a place where you’re in tears just sitting at your desk at work.

Cooking things from scratch

I didn’t grow up in a family that did a lot of cooking from scratch. About the only thing we ever made that didn’t include a box or can of something pre-made were chocolate chip cookies. And even for that, we used the instructions on the back of the chocolate chip bag.

But I’ve started getting into this. I’ve become one of those people that have both baking soda and baking powder in my house and using each regularly. I’ve learned to make scones, several kinds of cookies, Irish soda bread, beef wellington, and a ton of other things. As I’ve gotten into this, I can see how it’s an art form that I can use to perk myself up. On a cold grey day that discourages me from going outside, I can whip up a loaf of bread or some scones. I can make some rice pudding if I’m really needing some self-love.

So that’s it. I’m hoping that this will be a great winter with these new tools at my disposal. But I’m always looking for new ways to grow. What do you do to keep the winter blues away? Let us know in the comments below.

Your yearly holiday reminder

It’s that time again. Today is November first, which means Nanowrimo, and the start of the holiday season. Well, as far as I’m concerned the holiday season never really ends. There’s always something to celebrate.

I understand that for some of you, that’s a terrifying theory. That’s because a lot of people take the holidays way too seriously.

Every year I write a blog post about this and I swear I’m going to do it every single year. #Sorrynotsorry because everyone needs to hear this over and over again until we all internalize it and believe it.

I know I do.

The holidays, all of them, are only what we make of them. They are as flexible and fluid as you allow them to be. There should be absolutely no pressure on your shoulders whatsoever to have the perfect holiday. Because what the perfect holiday looks like is a different thing to everyone!

That’s it, that’s all! You don’t owe your family a Currier and Ives Christmas. You owe them a happy you. And you owe that to yourself, too. Now, all that being said, I do love holiday. I celebrate a lot in December, including Christmas, Yule, my beloved husband’s birthday, anNew Year. I do this by following one very simple rule, ruthlessly.

I only do things for the holidays that my family and I actually want to do. 

I love decorating the house, but by that, I mean putting up like four decorations, including my Charlie Brown replica tree.

I love baking, but everyone in the house is either diabetic or has cholesterol issues, so I save that for the specific holidays. We don’t have a cookie platter.

I love buying gifts, but I love making them more. 

Of course, what I love best about the holidays is enjoying a glass of mulled wine while I read A Christmas Carol. My family and I love best watching movies, so we’ve got a whole list of our favorites to get through. I love special teas and holiday coffees. I love seeing good friends and exchanging gifts on Yule. 

The trick is, I don’t do have to’s. I don’t have anything that I have to do. I have things that I want to do. I want to get up early to write. I want to go to work so I can pay my bills and buy ice cream for my dog. I want to do everything I do in a day, even if I don’t enjoy it. I don’t love cleaning the cat box, or sweeping off the back porch or going to work. I do love having a healthy cat, a clean porch and, you know, food.

But I do love the holidays. I allow myself space and time to love them. Because life is too damn short not to.

Happy holidays. 

Seven adaptations I really love

Very often adaptations of things we love suck! There are so many great books that have died terrible deaths on the silver or small screens. I have lists of criticism about the Harry Potter movies, the Spiderwick Chronicles movie was so bad I’m not surprised at all they didn’t continue with the series. And we’re not going to talk about The Giver movie. My heart just can’t take it.

And it’s not just books that get shitty treatment. You don’t want to hear how I felt about the Avitar The Last Airbender movie. And you don’t want to be anywhere near me if you played any part in that abortion. Awful casting, terrible special effects, misrepresentation of all the characters. It was humiliating to our species.

All that being said, sometimes adaptations don’t make me want to put a pickax in my temple. Some of them are pretty good. You might have heard me talk about some of these before, but I don’t think I’ve gotten to all of them. So here are the seven adaptations that I really love.

 

Series of Unfortunate Events And I specifically mean the Netflix series, not the train wreck of a movie.

This show was fantastic! While I would love a straight-up line by line adaptation, I’m realistic enough to know that if that’s all you accomplish, that’s not much to accomplish. Why not just leave the source material alone?

Well, this show was the perfect combination of those two situations. There are great long pieces that are just word for word from the book, and I love that. Then, some additions just couldn’t have been created in book form. Like Neil Patrick Harris singing. That man makes me feel things. The casting was good, the set was wonderful. I loved everyone on this. And it was beautifully true to the book.

 

Good Omens

This show on Amazon was phenomenal. I know I did a whole review of it, so I won’t go into too much detail here. But I will say it’s always a good idea to get the creator of the source material in on a project if you can. Gaiman, as always, did himself proud. Some additions made a lot of sense, especially near the end. Honestly, I think it improved it.

 

Limetown

I’m being cautiously optimistic adding Limetown to this list. As of the writing of this post, I’ve only seen the first two episodes. And, if you’ll recall my blog post from last week, I had mixed feelings about it. But the thing is, Limetown has more source material than most. There are two seasons of the podcast, sure. But there’s also the prequel book to take into consideration. Much to my joy, they seem to be weaving in both. And that’s pretty cool.

 

Lore

I love love love Lore. I look forward to every episode, I haven’t heard one yet I didn’t learn something cool from. I love it every time Aaron Manke says, “I like it when people say hi.”

The show is everything it should be. It’s beautifully filmed, I love the stories it tells. It really is like an episode of the podcast, with actors. I adore it.

 

The Stand

This is an older one, I know, but I kind of love the book The Stand. I’ve read the original, and the author’s extended edition. And I’ve watched the mini-series about four times.

I can’t read the book without hearing Don’t Fear The Reaper. I can’t help but see the actors in place of the characters in my mind. It all just blends so well together, the book and the show. Yes, there are some changes. For some reason, people who write tv shows and movies just love to shove characters together to make one person out of two.

But I digress.

It’s a little older now, and it might be hard to find. But it’s worth it to hunt down the mini-series if you’ve never seen it.

 

10th Kingdom

If you’ve never heard of 10th Kingdom, it’s amazing. It’s a twisted fairytale story about a young woman from New York who meets a big bad wolf and falls into a world where our fairy tales come from. They have to save a prince who’s been turned into a dog. It’s wonderful.

Now, this one is a bit different from the other’s on the list, because it was the mini-series that came before the book. And I swear, when you read the book you can see the show in front of your eyes. I remember watching this show every week with my aunt as a child. It was an experience, and probably the birth of my love of fairy tale retellings. Reading the book brings that back to me every time.

 

Charlie Brown

Let me be clear here. What I’m talking about is not the recent travesty of a movie that kind of made my childhood die.

No, I’m talking about the holiday specials that they used to play on ABC and now I had to buy on DVD because I can’t always find them.

They are perfect. They are the purest representation of a comic character coming to life that I have ever seen. I don’t know what a whole series of dashes should sound like, but it’s exactly right when Woodstock starts chirping. Snoopy transitions so well onto the screen that it’s uncanny. Not an ounce of his sass is lost. And good old Charlie Brown is the same good-hearted, optimistic wishy-washy kid he is in the comics. And I will forever treasure both the comic and the specials, no matter how old I get. I imagine that as I grow older, they’ll mean even more to me.

 

So, those are seven adaptations that were as good as or better than their source material. But I want to know what you think? What’s your favorite adaptation? Let us know in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Limetown

I, like millions of other people, love the astounding podcast, Limetown. I listened to every episode twice, once by myself and once with the husband so I could watch him experience it. Does anyone else do that? Watch or listen to something you’ve already experienced with someone else just so you can watch them? Is that just me? Oh well.

Anyway, as we’ve been waiting for season three to come out, we were treated with the news that it’s now following the path of other great podcasts like Lore, and becoming a tv show. Damn, do I like Lore, by the way. But that’s another story for another day. (Can I write off my Amazon Prime membership fees on my taxes if I watch Lore for book inspiration? Tax lawyers, let me know.)

As the news came in about the Limetown show, I grew more and more split on my feelings about it. Yes, they got Stanley Tutchi to play Emil Haddock. That’s great, he’s great. But then it was going to be on Facebook Watch which makes me nervous. Anywhere I can’t see how a company is making money from me, I assume I’m the thing they’re making the money from. Which is, you know, not great. But then it’s been so fun watching all of these new fans learning about Limetown and making predictions on social media about what happened to the missing people. Look, I’ve listened to every episode, and read the prequel book. I know what happened, and I’m not telling anybody. But some of these predictions were exactly word for word my predictions. So that was a great moment. There are so many more people in the fan club now. We have pins!

I couldn’t help but get super excited. I couldn’t wait to see Lia dig into the mysteries of Limetown. I couldn’t wait to watch as she talks to Max and The Preacher. I was stoked!

I watched the first two episodes on Wednesday when they came out. And, since I’m sure you’re here for an actual review, not to hear me fangirl, let’s get to that.

I still don’t know what I think.

There was obvious influence from the novel

Just in case you’re not aware, the prequel novel, titled Limetown, was written by Cote Smith. The original podcast authors, Zack Akers and Skip Bronkle. And it’s an essential read if you want to understand Lia and Emil. It was different. Lia’s a teenager, obviously not the strong fearless woman she eventually turns into. She’s kind of a pain in the ass, totally incapable of having any sort of feelings for literally anyone. Emil, on the other hand, was a great guy trapped in a lot of terrible situations. He was a great uncle. Overall, Emil is someone desperately looking for someone, anyone, to love.

All of this had an obvious influence on the show. It feels like the novel was woven through the series flawlessly, as though it was always part of the story. And I love that.

Lia’s character is a pain in the ass

I mean, for the most part, including parts of the prequel novel was a great idea and I limetown twoloved it. Except for one thing.

In the podcast, Lia’s a bad-ass reporter. She’s fearless, no-nonsense. She cares about nothing more than finding the story. Now, she’s not perfect. She is all absorbed by the story, and more than willing to put herself in danger and ignore the rules put in place for her safety. All that matters to her, literally the only thing, is finding out what happened in Limetown.

In the show, Lia sounds more like the teenage version of herself. She’s taking advantage of the girl she’s seeing, seeking physical intimacy because she doesn’t have any room in her for actual love. She misses her uncle to the point of obsession, which is weird because in the podcast she was pretty clear that she barely knew her uncle. The fact that Emil was in Limetown was less than an afterthought to her. And she didn’t harbor all of this pain and resentment towards her mom. Not that there wasn’t a reason for her to be angry at her mom. She did abandon her family. But that was something that Lia had put behind her. There was none of this foolish ignoring her mother’s calls or leaving sad voice mails for her dad.

I loved Lia in the podcast. The show Lia needs some Zoloft and a puppy.

Two great moments were scary as hell, and exactly what I wanted them to be

Fortunately selfishly moody Lia wasn’t enough to ruin the show for me. There were two moments, moments that made me jump out of my chair when I was originally listening to the podcast, that was just so spot on that I couldn’t believe how well they’d been done.

The first was that 911 call, oh that call. The one from the first episode, of a woman calling for help at Limetown. It was that call that got me, and so many others hooked to the story, right from the word go. Or, more appropriately, right from the words, “Hello, can you hear me?” This was played in the show perfectly, and gave me the same chills as the first time I heard it.

The second scene, the real stand out one that I think most people remember better, is the man banging his head on Lia’s hotel room door. Screaming her name. Screaming, “This is your warning.” That was amazing. We still don’t know what that was about. And that was done to perfection in the show. I jumped, even though I damn well knew it was coming.

Limetown looked just spot on perfect

Too often when I’m watching something based on a source material I’m familiar with (read: obsessed with) I tend to get a bit picky. You don’t want to watch the Harry Potter movies with me, for instance. The problem is, the deck is stacked against the creators of visual mediums. While it might seem that they have all of the advantages, they don’t. Because no matter how fantastic a scene looks, no matter how much we try to get it to match the picture we have in our heads, everyone has a different head. And everyone perceives things differently, pictures things. And so when I complain that I saw the Room of Requirements differently then it was ever depicted in the movies, that’s not a fair argument. Because maybe a lot of people did see it that way.

Case in point, Limetown was almost exactly what I pictured when I was listening to the podcast. Almost like Eureka, but darker. A place of light, and creativity, and beauty, but with a sickness hiding. A layer of rot under the skin of a perfect looking apple. And that was just spot on.

Winona was damn well perfect

Then there was Winona. Poor, broken Winona. She was probably the darkest story. And limetown imgKelly Jenrette, who plays Winona, did such a fantastic job. It’s not like it’s an easy thing to play a crazy person. And that’s exactly what she did. Her cadence and verbal idioms were right on point. I am obsessed with this woman. The character is eerie, the way she seems to have had a blank spot in her mind where her daughter should have been, got under my skin. And I can’t imagine I’m going to be able to exorcise that anytime soon.

Some interesting additions that need some more fleshing out before an opinion can be formed

One final thought I had about the show was the introduction of Lia’s assistant, Mark Green, who I’d consider her Jimmy Olson. Or, more specifically, her unwanted partner. Much like the ridiculous number of buddy cop movies where the grizzled old detective works alone. It’s a strange option, to give her a, what? An assistant? A partner? He was introduced, it seemed, just to be barked at and ignored for much of the first two episodes. At this time the character seems like a worthless addition. But we’ll have to wait to see. We just haven’t seen enough of him yet.

I’ll be watching the other episodes, of course, and give a final thought when the season is over. I do suggest checking it out on Facebook Watch. Generally, I hope that Lia’s character improves. And that now that this is off the ground, the creators can settle in and get season three of the podcast already.

AHS 1984

American Horror Story is a cornerstone of my yearly tv watching. It’s a remarkable addition to the horror genre and a yearly test for the actors involved. In the interest of full disclosure, that’s where I’m coming from when writing this blog post. 

Sorry, this review is so late. I want to say I wanted to watch episode two to get a better idea of the season before I wrote it. But that’s a filthy lie. It’s late because I don’t often have time to sit down and watch something to review it. Normally when I watch something, I’m doing other things. Posting on social media, cleaning the house, crocheting, just about anything else. When I watch to review, I watch. I take notes and analyze them. It takes time, Man! But anyway, here’s what I took away from the first episode. What follows are my criticisms, notes, questions, and predictions after watching Episode One and while watching Episode Two.

This episode focuses on a slasher flick style, with a group of people heading to a camp to be counselors for the summer, only to find that there was a gristly murder there fourteen years before and that the owner of the camp is, in fact, a survivor of the murder. She’s reopened the camp as a way to exorcise her fear, as the only one to survive the twisted Mr. Jingles.

Some thoughts on the slasher flick genre, and how 1984 lives up to it.

The episode starts with a three-way between camp counselors, in the same cabin where children were sleeping. While that’s awful and gross, it pairs perfectly with the slasher flick genre. I mean, there wasn’t a single Freddy Kruger movie that didn’t have at least one sex scene.

I am, however, thrilled that they didn’t keep the SD sepia tone throughout the whole show. That would have been a little much.

One big stylistic tone from slasher flicks is the music. It rings true with this show, for AHS Mr Jinglessure. The music reminds me deeply of the scores for Nightmare on Elm Street, and I love it. This is something that Stranger Things did well, too. I don’t wonder much if this season was inspired by the popularity of Stranger Things, because I think it totally was. 

I have to say that I love that this has so far held to the three rules of a horror movie. If you haven’t seen Scream five thousand times as I have, let me give you a refresher.

If you want to survive a horror movie don’t have sex, don’t drink or do drugs. And, most importantly, don’t ever say ‘I’ll be right back’. Ever, dude. 

Questions I have after watching this episode

I had a ton of questions after watching Episode One. Who is stalking Xavier? Why does that ring matter so much? How the hell does someone fill up a van with gas for only $10. Three of those questions were answered by the end of the episode.

How in the hell have none of these counselors never heard of the murders here before? Maybe some of these characters didn’t grow up around LA, but I imagine a few of them did. And even if they didn’t, wouldn’t this be nationwide news if a bunch of kids was murdered at a summer camp?

Also, why didn’t Ms. Booth introduce the counselors to Trevor earlier? When they arrived they were told they were the only counselors. Is this a plot hole, or is Trevor really there?

I also dearly want to know why Mr. Jingles is collecting keys. The first time we saw him it made sense to have keys because he worked there. But why did he take the janitor’s keys? Doesn’t he take ears as a trophy? 

Problems I have with this episode

I don’t think that any of the kills from Mr. Jingles were remotely realistic so far. How did no one in the damn cabin wake up while he was killing them? Did no one scream? Were they all such heavy sleepers? And the death of the orderly at the insane asylum was a problem for me. Generally, a human man wouldn’t have the strength to hold himself up by his neck and also strangle someone to the point that blood came out of his victim’s eyes. While this does feed one of my predictions (see below) it’s a huge issue for me if I’m wrong.

Thoughts on AHS as a series

Let me first say that I love Billie Lourd so much. She is amazing every year. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the rest of it. 

Every year I’m astounded by the actors of AHS. The rich princess from Apocalypse became the crazy religious camp counselor this year. It’s astounding to me that they can fit into all of these different roles. 

Predictions I have for the rest of the season

I don’t think for one second that Ms. Booth reopened this camp for the reasons she’s saying. It doesn’t make logical sense that she only wanted to exorcise her demons and provide a safe place for children. I’m willing to bet that she’s sacrificing these people on purpose. 

I am totally sure that this current group of counselors is actually at very least the second group that Ms. Booth has hired. I’m willing to bet right now that there’s already a group buried on the property. 

As I mentioned earlier, I think that Mr. Jingles has some sort of magical powers to do all the wild killing he’s doing. At least I hope so. Because otherwise, all the shit he’s doing makes no damned sense.

I also predict that this damned camp is under the same sort of weird spell as the murder house in season one. I bet that’s why the counselor from the ’70s is still there. I’m willing AHS Ms. Hallto bet we’ll see a lot more people from that time.

Finally, one bold prediction I have is that by the end of the season, Ms. Booth will have a higher body count than Mr. Jingles. Now, right now the score is 2 to 0, but I’m staying by this one. She’s got death in her soul.

I’ll do a recap at the end of the season with my final thoughts and the followup of my predictions. 

What do you think? Do you have any predictions for the season? Do you think mine are totally off base or spot on? Let us know in the comments below.

Welcome to the brand new Paper Beats World!

And we’re up! Welcome to the new Paper Beats World. What do you think?

With the new look comes a new feel. Not a new me. I’m the same me I’ve always been. But a new focus. I’m writing for readers and fans of specualtive fiction in all forms. So we’re going to be doing a lot more reviews, a lot more stories about living the nerd life and hopefully more short fiction.

As you can see, there are some new pages. I’m opening up my calendar to some freelance work specifically for small businesses. So if you’re a small business owner who doesn’t have the time to write all of the content that requires, hit me up.

There is a link for a tip jar, but that one’s not ready yet. Coming soon.

Our new schedule is going to include a post every Friday, and a PBW Update every other Monday. If you want a little more swearing, a little more political talk, and bi-weekly tips for fitting more reading into your life, click here and sign up to get a free short story, Brennan Rising.

The Boys, a review

Comic books are a bit of an obsession with me. My favorite is X-Men. I love Marvel for the characters and DC for the storylines. 

All that being said, I am a little obsessed with anything superhero related. And, lucky me, there’s a lot of it.

I also have a twisted side. No surprise, I’m sure some of you have read my books. So as soon as I saw an ad for The Boys on Amazon Prime, I realized I was going to need to see it.

It did not disappoint. Let me say it again; it did not disappoint.

Now, let me first give you a warning. This is a gory, bloody show with a ton of adult The Boys onecontent. Not for little ones or those who are sensitive to such things. And the older I get, the more sensitive I get to such things. But this didn’t bother me too much at all. Well, the rather graphic sexual assault scene near the beginning is a bit much. Just as a fair warning. 

The story is about Hughie Campbell, who is a completely normal person in a world with superheroes. He’s beloved girlfriend is killed when the superhero, A-Train, literally runs through her. He’s left holding only her hands. He soon falls in with our anti-hero, Billy Butcher. (Has there ever been a more comic book name than that?) They intend to make the superheroes pay for what they did to Hughie’s girlfriend. And, as we later discover, Billy’s wife.

I love the twisted hero motif. The heroes that we all admire have a dark side. They’re not just like you and me; they’re far worse. Power corrupts, we all know this. And these heroes are the perfect example.

A lot of the show revolves around the character’s relationships. One relationship that made my skin crawl was the one between Homelander and Madelyn Stillwell, an executive at Vought, the company that controls the supers. His weird obsession with her is cringy. He wants all her attention, he wants her to like him. He wants her to love him. He’s straight-up jealous of her relationship with her infant son.

This show reminded me a little bit of the Amazon version of The Tick. The same sort of setup, but with a far darker feel of course.

I loved the main character, Hughie, played by Jack Quaid. He’s capable without seeming like he falls into stupid luck. He’s endearing, without being sappy. He makes some decisions I’m not comfortable, especially when he starts to fall for a superhero named Starlight. But he is, overall a good person trying to remain good during a bad time.

Billy Butcher is the poster child for an anti-hero. He’s angry, bitter, hurting. He does not give a damn about the well being of anyone, literally anyone. He will do whatever it takes to get vengeance on Homelander for what he did to Billy’s wife.

While Billy and Hughie are trying to take down the superheroes, a bright young woman named Starlight joins the superheroes. She’s wanted this her whole life. But, of course, she soon finds out that the company wants to use her for her appearance. Her heroes are molesters, drug addicts and cynical. Kind of a snoozefest. It’s an old story.

What’s a less than old story is Starlight struggling with her faith, as she sees more of the the boys, twoworld and realized that the morals she was brought up with aren’t necessarily the ones she finds value in now. That was nice to see.

The most surprising thing about The Boys was the way characters developed. There was at least one character that I despised and wanted to die in a fire. By the end of the season, I felt so bad for them! It was a remarkable character development.

Overall, I’d say that The Boys is worth a watch. 

Have you seen The Boys? What did you think of it? Let us know in the comments below.

In Devon’s world, magical work is as common as turning a pot or fletching an arrow. What 51-OoHU7HkL._SY346_isn’t common is a man with thread magic. When Devon finds that he is a seer, weaving prophetic tapestries, his family tries to keep it a secret.
But the family can’t hide Devon’s visions after he predicts a devastating plague in the dragon lands of Coveline. He travels there to help the dragon queen save her people.
Meanwhile, Devon’s sister Lenore joins the Church of Singular Light. As Lenore learns to serve, and falls in love with her city, she discovers a dark underbelly to the church.
Lenore fights for her city, and Devon rushes to find a cure to the plague, while an unseen enemy raises an army to destroy Septa from within.

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