Wow, it’s a whole new decade. I needed to just kind of sit with that for a little bit over the last few days, let me just tell you. It’s January third, 2020. It’s the fourth decade change I’ve seen in my life (I was born in 1986). I’ll turn 34 this year, which means I’m clearly in my mid-thirties and not my early thirties. Let me tell you, it’s a sobering prospect.

But that’s neither here nor there. What I really wanted to talk to you about was my word of the year.

Do you do a word of the year? Everyone should. It gives you a target to aim for. It gives you some clarity. Especially if you, like me, tend to put way too much on yourself. Having a word of the year puts things in perspective. What’s the most important thing to do today? Well, what’s my word of the year? Whatever goes toward that, that’s what I do.

In 2019, my word of the year was brave. I was required to be brave for a lot of things in my personal life. There have been some health issues going on, and the whole year’s been a bit of a mess. But I also decided I wanted to be brave about other things. I decided to be brave enough to talk about leaving the Mormon church and converting to Unitarianism. I talked about things going on in the world that were upsetting me. And I had to be brave enough to end my first trilogy and move on to something new. 

It also lead me to apply for a critic job at Horror HTML. By the way, I’m doing five reviews a month over there, if you’re a horror fan. 

Brave was a great word for 2019. But every year is a new chapter and requires new things of us. So for 2020, my word of the year is Foundation.

Here’s what that means to me. As I said, I’m creeping into my mid-thirties now, and I sure as hell don’t want to be in bad shape health-wise when I get older. I also have this bold, audacious dream of buying an RV and traveling around America selling my books and working as a freelance writer. And I want to do it by 2029. So, what I need to do this year is to build a foundation of good health and habits that will allow me to do that.

I need to build a foundation of good eating and exercise habits.

I need to build a foundation of good spending habits.

I need to build a foundation for a more serious writing career. 

I need to build a foundation of minimalism to fit my life into an RV.

I don’t know if I can get healthy in a year. I think I can. I don’t think I’ll be making quit my day job writing money in a year. And I’m sure I can’t go through a lifetime of physical and emotional clutter to leave a lot of things behind. Well, maybe I could leave all the physical things behind. But I’ve got to not collect more things after that. That’s the tricky part. 

So that’s the plan. Build a strong foundation that will lead me to where I want to be in ten years. It’s a little crazy and super scary. But a year of being brave brought me to a better place. Let’s see what a year of building a foundation for the rest of my life can take me.

What about you? What’s your word of the year and why? Let us know in the comments below.

Note: Sorry this post is so late. Had a stumach bug that put me down hard for a day. Worst time of the year for that.

I also wanted to let you know that all of the Woven Trilogy is on sale on Amazon right now for the holidays. Here’s a link. They’re on sale until Monday.

At the end of every year, I post a list of the most popular posts of the year. I love doing this post, and I love seeing similar posts from content creators across all the other platforms I frequent. It brings back a flood of memories from the year. Where I was, what I was doing and who I was with when I saw or read the posts. I hope you feel the same way, or this post is just an indulging of my nostalgia.

A lot has changed in 2019. I published the last in the Woven trilogy, started writing for a horror review site, and started writing a new science fiction series. (More on that to come.) Altogether, it hasn’t been a bad year. I mean, I’ve certainly had better. But I’ve also had worse.

Without further ramblings, here are the top ten most popular posts of 2019.

Worldbuilding questions to answer for a more realistic world

I enjoyed writing this post. Worldbuilding is something I’ve struggled with and seen done poorly by authors who seem to think it’s alright to just rip off Tolkien instead of writing anything original.

What is Speculative fiction

I’m so thrilled that so many people are interested in speculative fiction. I mean, it’s what I write, so I hope people like it.

What I learned as a flag football mom

This was surprising. It’s an older post. But I was pleased to see that it resonated. 

Picking apart Coraline

I’m pretty sure the popularity of this post is due to the artwork I put on Pinterest. Even so, I loved Coraline, and I learned a ton from it as a writer. So I’m pretty excited that you all loved it too. 

What I learned from Brooklyn 99

Despite the last season of this show being a bit of a flop, it’s still got a lot to teach storytellers. If you haven’t seen it, check it out.

An open letter to the teacher who changed my life

I’m touched that this post was as popular as it was. So many wonderful teachers helped shape me into who I am. I hope that all of you had that experience as well.

Science Fiction Subgenres

All of these got a lot of love over the last year. I’m thrilled, and I really hope that they helped.

Keeping a poetry journal

Poetry continues to be a big topic of interest. I think I need to do some research to write more about it. 

Writing gunshot wounds realistically

This was a guest post, and it was the second most popular post of the year. I love/hate that. It was a great post with a great amount of information. If you haven’t read it yet, check it out.

Writing Dark Poetry

This was a post that I take a lot of pride in, and I’m beyond thrilled that it was the most popular post this year. Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out what sort of post is going to resonate. You pour time and research into something and it just doesn’t work for people. Then you write something off the cuff and it goes viral. This wasn’t the case with this post. I poured my soul into it, and it apparently spoke to a lot of people.

Thank you again for a year of wonderful adventures and learning. I hope that 2020 is even better.

This post took way too long to write. I spent far more time than I should have dithering about this list because I read a ton of really good books this year.

These books didn’t necessarily come out this year. None of them did. But I did read all of them this year. I didn’t include any of the books that I read every year or anything that I’d read before. They are across several different genres, fiction, and nonfiction.

Without further rambling, here are the best books I read in 2019.

10. Troublemaker by Leah Remini.

This is a memoir about Leah’s days in the church of Scientology. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a little bit obsessed with anything about that creepy cult. So, of course, I read this book as soon as I could get my hands on it. It did not disappoint. It’s about her life from childhood until when she realized she wanted to leave the church. And it is riveting.

9. Broke Millennial, by Erin Lowry.

2019 was my year to read a ton of nonfiction. And I can’t suggest this book enough if you need to get your finances in order. I learned so much, and I’m slowly using what I learned to get my credit score in order and make better money choices. And it wasn’t dry!

8. The Pug List, by Alison Hodgson.

First off, the pug lives. I wasn’t willing to even touch this one until I found out that not only does the pug live, but his name is Oliver and he has his own Instagram. 

That being said, this family goes through hell and back. Their house is set on fire by an arsonist, and it burns to the ground. They have to rebuild their life from there. 

7. The Bullet Journal Method, by Ryder Carroll.

I don’t think I’ve anticipated a book as much as I did this one. I got it for Christmas last year, and I got to read part of it during a three-day vacation in Pittsburgh. And let me tell you, I was a Bullet Journal fan girl before. This book changed how I do Bullet Journaling for the better. If you haven’t read this book yet, do it now.

6. Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis.

This was an inspirational book from someone who manages to be supportive and verbally kicks your ass at the same time. I love how honest and funny she is. No punches were pulled, and it made me feel better about my whole life.

5. Muse of Nightmares, by Laini Taylor.

I’m not going to go into too much detail here, because I did a review of this book, as well as the first book, Strange The Dreamer. Suffice to say that this two-book series is one of the best modern fantasy books I’ve ever read. It’s creative, immersive and just a treat to read.

4. Limetown.

Alright, I’ve spent a lot of time talking about this series recently, so again I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this. If you love the podcast, you’ll love this prequel. I can’t suggest it enough.

3. The Outsider, by Stephen King.

This novel was one that reached right through the pages, grabbed me by the throat and did not let me go. I mean to tell you, I cannot describe how deep this book went. I loved every page. And I can’t believe it’s being turned into a mini-series on HBO next year. Next month, actually.

I haven’t done a review of this book yet, so here’s a quick overview. A small town is shaken to its knees when a popular coach is accused of raping and killing a young man. The only problem is, he couldn’t have done it, even though people saw him at the scene. 

The ending was rather predictable. That didn’t stop me from enjoying every page.

2. Doctor Sleep, by Stephen King.

You had to know I was going to have a few King books on here. Dr. Sleep is a followup to The Shining, and I have to say I liked it better. Better enough that I squeed when I saw the first trailer for the movie. (Haven’t seen it yet.) 

If you don’t know about this one, here’s the premise. Davey isn’t the only person who has the Shining. There’s a whole lot of them around, mostly kids. Some people prey upon those with The Shining, who feed on them.

Again, the ending was predictable. But it was a great ride, all the same. 

1. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, by Hank Green.

Again, this is a book I did a review on and just gushed about. It’s hitting number one on my list this year because it is the most creative and unique novel I have ever read. I cannot wait for the next one.

So that’s it. What do you think? What were the best books you read this year? Let us know in the comments below.

In years past, I’ve done gift guides for writers and readers. They were a lot of fun and (bragging) pretty popular. 

This year, though, I feel like I’ve sort of exhausted those posts. So instead, I’ve compiled a list of tips for getting gifts for readers. These should help you get a present for any avid reader in your life.

Don’t buy them a book unless they asked for something specific.

Let me tell you a story, and before I do, I’m sorry Grandma. 

One delightful Christmas, I was handed a big, heavy wrapped book. I’d just finished reading the first two Eragon books and wanted to read the third. (The first two were alright.) And so, having been handed a heavy book, I thought for sure that my grandmother had gotten me book three. “Oh, is this Brisingr?” I cried and ripped off the paper.

It wasn’t. It was Duma Key by Stephen King. 

Now, it was really hard for me to hide the disappointment on my face. Even though now I know for sure that I’d rather read Duma Key than an Eragon book. Most of you reading this know that. So, of course, my grandmother thought that.

But it wasn’t what I was into then. And that’s not her fault. But it is a perfect example of how much of a pain in the ass readers are. Even if you think you know for sure what they’d like, don’t buy them a book unless they’ve specifically asked for it. Even if they like it, you always run the chance that they already have it.

No, they don’t have enough bookmarks.

There’s no such thing as too many bookmarks, the damn things are always getting lost. Yes, a bookmark is a great idea. Yes, they will lose it. So don’t break the bank, you know?

Yes, they would like a coffee or hot chocolate gift set

Nothing makes reading better than a hot drink when it’s cold or a cold drink when it’s hot. And while I can’t speak for all avid readers, I never have met one who has enough coffee cups.

There is an exception to the first rule.

If you are also an avid reader, then I’m sure you have more than a few books that are meaningful to you. These are great gifts because they mean something to you. You can explain to the recipient why this book matters so much to you. And in that way, this gift is about more than the book itself. You’re giving them a part of yourself.

Gift cards are great, gift cards to second-hand book stores are the best!

Look, a second-hand book store is the best thing. It’s an adventure every time. And you can finance that adventure. It also supports independent booksellers. Which is something we need more of.

If you really want to put money into it, you can get them a subscription box

There are so many subscription boxes these days, that you can find very specific ones no matter what genre your reader likes. This can be a pricy gift, but it can be a wonderful one that continues to give all year long.

If you do it right, prepare not to talk to them for a while.

This is the downside of getting the reader the perfect gift. They will sink into their favorite activity, reading. But rest assured that they’ll think fondly of you as they do.

If you live in the states, I’m sorry to bring this sort of downer post to you the days after a holiday. But, I honestly couldn’t think of a better time to do it. And, while I normally like to think that I write to a worldwide audience, this post is just for Americans. Because there’s something we need to talk about, guys. Something that should have stopped a long time ago.

Thanksgiving was a few days ago. Those of us who celebrated gathered with family and friends. We enjoyed food, wine and good spirits. Then some of us headed out to go shopping. I have feelings about that, but that’s another topic for another day. Let’s focus just on Thanksgiving. A time for gratitude, for family, for love and compassion. The first day of a season that is dedicated to seeing every man as our brother and reaching out a hand for those in need.

So let’s talk about some people in need. There are lots of them, but there’s one group that’s been heavy on my heart. The women, men and children currently held as prisoners at our southern border.

And make no mistake, they are being held as prisoners. They have committed no crime. All they have attempted to do is cross our border and seek asylum, legally.

I cannot stress this enough, seeking asylum is legal.

Let me say it again for the people in the cheap seats, seeking asylum is legal!

I would also like to point out that many of the people being held are children. Babies, toddlers. Ripped from their parent’s arms. Some have died. They’ve been denied basic hygiene, privacy and everything else a child that age needs. And, most horrifying of all, many children have gone missing. They’re just gone, missing. We have no idea where they went. The adults who took these children from their families have now been so negligent as to lose them.

And don’t think for a moment that this is unintentional. That this was some sort of well-intentioned governmental bungling. It was a fear tactic, and the government has said as much. Here’s a link if you don’t believe me. Our government is intentionally trying to scare people away from coming here and legally seeking asylum.

During WWII, America was attacked by the Japanese at Pearl Harbor. This is something we all know. We all also know that we responded in a few different ways. The worst way was by locking up Japanese American citizens in camps. This is a scar on our country’s legacy. I like to think that if I had been alive then, I would have spoken up.

When we were founding this country, and making room for the ever spreading communities and cities, we forced native American’s off of their lands. Countless were sent on a march down what we now call the Trail of Tears. So many lives were lost, and this is a loss for all of America. We should have the ancestors of those people walking among us today. But we don’t. I like to think that if I had been alive then, I would have spoken up.

I’m here now, a proud American descended from Hungarian immigrants. And I will speak up for these families. I’m not doing it to assuage any sort of guilt, or because I wish to appear woke. I’m doing it because they deserve to have us all speaking for them. I’m doing it because the America I want to live in remembers what’s written on the Statue of Liberty. I’m going to speak up for these people because my great grandmother traveled here as a child with her parents so that I could stand here today. I’m going to keep right on speaking up because what’s happening is inhumane.

I’m hoping that you’ll want to stand up for them, too. Here are some ways you can help. 

To start with, start talking about this. Don’t let people forget that this is happening. The news cycles move too fast, and it’s too easy to forget. Post stories of families at the border, share this blog post if it inspired you. If you’re a blogger, and I’m honored that so many of you are, share your feelings in a post to raise awareness.

You can also donate. Here’s a charity that I’m donating to, called Immigrant Families Together. 

Finally, contact your local officials. Tell them that you don’t want to see these families treated this way anymore. Tell them that they need to do something to help them. 

And if they won’t, remember that next November. Remember who stood by, and let this happen. And vote them out.

I hope that all of you enjoy the holiday season. I don’t want you to spend the next month dragged down by guilt. I won’t be. But while I enjoy the season with my family, my heart is with the people at our border separated from theirs. And I will not stop doing whatever I can do until every family is reunited and free. 

And I’m grateful for every single other person saying something. 

Hank Green is one of my favorite YouTubers. He does some of the coolest science shows, including Scishow. I adore him.

When we stumbled upon his book, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, in our local bookstore, the husband and I had a bit of a disagreement. He was insisting to me that this was Hank Green, the Youtuber. I was sure that this was Hank Green, the author of A Fault in our Stars. Needless to say, the husband won that argument. John Green is the author of A Fault in our Stars, and he’s Hank Green’s brother. Oops, my bad.

But that’s not really what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to talk to you about this book. Because it’s really good. And if you haven’t read it yet, you should. 

It’s not like anything I’ve ever read before. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. The story is about a statue that appears out of nowhere on a New York Sidewalk. April May, the main character, puts up a video on Youtube about it, saying that it was a shame that no one was paying attention to this impressive art piece. She named it Carl and thought that would be the end of it.

By the next day, everyone was paying attention, because the Carl’s had shown up all over the world, all at the same time. And she was the first person to say anything about it online. For this reason, April May and her friend Andy become overnight celebrities.

As mankind starts investigating Carl, it becomes clear very soon that no one’s seen anything like this before. 

One of the things you realize right off the bat about this book is that the main character, April May, is a real person. She’s not always nice she’s often selfish and self-centered. She’s a mess, emotionally. And I love that. I love that she’s relatable. I love that. Not only because it makes her a much more entertaining and relatable character. But also because it kind of ties into the whole storyline. A lot of this book involves watching April May go from a very private person to the most well-known person in the world. So it’s a constant reminder that she’s a real person behind the celebrity.

I was impressed with Green regarding one aspect of April May’s character. She’s bisexual. Hank Green is, obviously, not a bisexual woman. I’m also not a bisexual woman. But I am a woman, and I think he did a great job writing a female character. He handled a sensitive situation well. 

Andy was also a well-written character. Though I’m pretty sure he’s basically the stand-in for Green. His mannerisms certainly reminded me of him.

Now, let’s talk about the closest thing this book would have to an antagonist, Peter Petrawicki. Let me tell you, I hate him. I hate him a lot. Possibly because he largely reminds me of Ben Shapiro. They’re both megalomaniac fear mongers who don’t care what happens to people so long as they’re inciting their base to buy their books. Both are responsible for encouraging others to violence, but neither is willing to take responsibility for their hand in things. And both of them made a large amount of money for writing books that are pretty much bullshit.

Is it clear that I don’t like Ben Shapiro? I hope so because I don’t. And I pictured his stupid little rat face every time I read about Peter. Basically, well done on this character. I really hate him.

Now, I do have to say that it took me a long time to get into this book. At first, it was largely about how April and Andy were dealing with this newfound celebrity status. That part drug on for a long time, to be honest. And I was bored to tears.

Until very suddenly, I wasn’t. I hate to ruin it for you, but there’s a distinct turning point in the story that grabbed me and did not let me go. So if you start reading this book and feel like it’s not your cup of tea, keep with it. Trust me, the ending is worth it.

As of right now, there’s no information on the sequel. But I can assure you, I’ll be on the lookout. And you’ll be the first to know.

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen this movie yet, there are spoilers. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark, by Alvin Schwartz is one of a long list of books I cherished as a child. Hell, I’m lying. I still read these damn books sometimes, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Pretty sure my whole generation was touched by this trilogy. The stories were great, I’ve got four or five of them memorized. But what made these books memorable, what dialed my little horror-loving heart up to eleven, was the artwork! Holy shit, this artwork, man. If you haven’t seen it, where the hell have you been? But here are some examples.

Creepy, right? They’re the best.

Now, movies made of beloved books of my childhood are something that I try to not bring up in polite society. I tend to get angry, and then I tend to get foul-mouthed. Like, more than normal. And seeing as how I’ve managed to slip four curse words into the first paragraph of this post, and this is something that I’m writing professionally, that should tell you something. Do you know that meme about someone being five drinks in and using fuck like a comma? Yeah, that’s me when talking about The Chronicles of Narnia books.

But when I saw the first trailer for Scary Stories, I had high hopes. I felt sure that this movie was going to be epic because they got the most important thing right. They got the artwork perfect! Of course, that could mean nothing. Just because the effects guys were epic, that doesn’t mean the writers knew what they were doing. The actors might have been shitty. There were lots of things that could have gone wrong.

Now that I’ve finally managed to sit down and watch the movie in full, I can say that my worst fears were not realized, and my greatest dreams were dashed. Let’s get into why.

The good

Within seconds of the movie starting, the husband and I both said that this movie had a strong Stranger Things feel. It was in a similar time frame, similar casting. The whole thing just had kind of the same feel. To the point that we spent a lot of time making jokes about calling Hopper. He’d have taken the racist police chief to task. And boy, did that idiot need to be taken to task. More on that later. But the movie benefited from that Stranger Things feel.

Scary Stories and Stranger Things are both part of a group of horror fiction that I enjoy. Lots of scary, small amounts of gore, and everyone keeps their pants on! So it’s great for the kids who are old enough to handle some scary stuff and the occasional oh so repeatable swearword. But you don’t have to have any sort of Labyrinth type conversations with kids who’ve never seen a bulge, bare ass or anything like that. Another option, if you’ve got kids that age, are the Paranormal Activity movies. Monster House is another great one.

Probably my favorite thing about this movie was that the design team brought the artwork to life and it wanted to kill people. Harold looked just how you’d expect Harold to look. Which is to say, scary as hell. You remember Harold, the vengeful scarecrow. He’s had a dark, seeping, terrifying place in my nightmares for most of my life. He’s back now, with some horrifying movements and sounds to work with. Yay?

Oh, and the Jenga Man! If you haven’t seen this movie yet, let me not spoil this moment that made me, a thirty-three-year-old woman, scream. If you’ve seen it, please leave a note in the comments and tell me if I’m the only grown-ass adult who was creeped right out of their skin by that thing.

While honestly not the best thing about the movie, the storyline wasn’t bad. It was better than I was expecting, but then my expectations were pretty low. It revolves around a child killer named Sara Bellows. Her family locked her away, and she told scary stories to the children of the town. Then she murdered them. At least, that’s how the story goes.

Our main characters find themselves locked in the house on Halloween night, after tricking a bully and running from his vengeance. There they find one of Sara’s books. Stella, the horror freak and writer, takes the book with her. Horror ensues when the book starts telling stories. Stories that come true. It’s not an original story, but it’s pretty good. Like I said, way better than I thought it would be.

The cast of characters was really good. I loved Stella, I was Stella as a child. Auggie and Chuck were the boys I wish I would have been friends with. Auggie was too smart for his good, and Chuck was funny as hell. And then there was Ramon. He was a remarkably well-written character. Every character seemed like a real kid this age. Which is refreshing.

Now, of course, I am a writer. I’m a storyteller. And that’s kind of a big thing about this movie. Stories have power. Words have power. And that’s my favorite thing ever.

Can I also point out that this story was set near Pittsburgh? And I think you all know how much I love my city. Also, not bragging, but Night of the Living Dead was filmed here. We are the home of zombies, just saying.

Hey, so let us talk about how they handled racism. Because they handled it well. The way the police harassed Ramon the whole movie is sadly realistic. And I want that to be a conversation that we’re having. Kids should have that conversation with their parents.

The bad.

Okay, I know I praised the storyline, and it was good. But I have to say that the antagonist’s reasons were pretty heavy-handed. I don’t want to get too much into it because spoilers. And I get it that this is a movie meant for children. That doesn’t in any way mean that we need to get beaten over the head with the moral of the story. Stories can have morals. I don’t mind morals. I can enjoy it. But I don’t need to be knocked the hell out.

Now, I hate to have to do this. But there was one thing that made me hate this movie. It was the last five minutes. The last five minutes were so damned rushed, so damned tossed together. There were so many questions, without any good answers. There’s nothing wrong with an open ending to a movie. There are lots of things wrong with feeling like I have no idea what the hell just happened.

Finally, look, I hate to be that guy. But war is, um, bad. And the Vietnam war was really bad. The people who were drafted into that war were treated as disposable and it’s a stain on our country’s history. I personally have known several men who were drafted and came back broken. A whole generation of our people was shattered. We owe them an apology. The last thing we need to do is brainwash another generation of young men into thinking that if they don’t go overseas to kill people they’re cowards. Our men and women of the armed forces are heroes, but there are other ways to be a hero. Standing up for peace is heroic too. Just saying.

That’s about it. I recommend Scary Stories, I don’t care how old you are. I loved almost every minute of this movie, except for the last five.

By the way, I wanted to let you know that a lot of things ended this last week. American Horror Story, Limetown of course. And I finally finished An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. So, stay tuned for those.

November always manages to kick my ass. Nanowrimo and the holidays combine and call upon the force of seasonal depression to kick my ass. And every year I learn new things to help keep the winter feels away. I’ve embraced Hygge, focused on meditation, started taking a D vitamin and an antidepressant prescribed by my doctor. All those things totally help. But, I’m always learning and always growing. And today I’m sharing six things I’m doing to keep my life and mind in a good place this winter. And, really, all year round.

The Alistair method

I just found this new way to do a weekly spread in my bullet journal from this BohoBerry video. If you haven’t heard of this, check out the video. I can’t tell you how much better this makes me feel. Instead of looking at a whole week’s worth of activities, I can see just what I need to do each day. It also allows me to write things I need to do as they come to my brain, and still prioritize my actions by day. I’m also able to realize if I’m heaping way too much on one day. Which I have a bad habit of doing.

So many plants!

Last winter, I bought a cactus. Then, I bought a few more. Now I have basil, lavender, three aloes, my original cactus, and a pot of something that I didn’t mean to grow, but I’ll be damned if I’ll kill it now. I also have some moss on a rock that just seemed to want to come home with me. I’m hoping to grow peppermint and sage soon.

Bringing green life into my house is something I’ve struggled with. Focusing on plants that seem to not want to, you know, die at the slightest provocation, has helped.

Learning new things

I mean, I’m always learning new things. But it helps me in the winter to have something new and shiny to put in my brain. On the worst day, I have something to look forward to. I’ve been learning about reading tarot, that’s been fun. I’m also taking a ton of classes on Futurelearn. Always, learning, always growing. That’s the secret to being excited about every day. Well, that and coffee.

Chore charts

Yeah, that’s right. A chore chart. Just like when you were a kid. I’ve developed a chore chart based heavily on what I learned about myself and my needs while going through the Flylady’s 30-day course. I know what I need to do to keep control of my house, and what I’m capable of doing every day.

Why is this important? It’s not because I’m someone who requires a clean and orderly house to rest my weary head. It’s because once my house gets to a certain level of insanity, I become like a deer in the headlights. I can’t move, can’t think of what to do. I also can’t relax or even make a cup of tea in peace. Spending fifteen to thirty minutes a day to keep my house in order helps keep me sane.

And for those of you rebelling, that it doesn’t matter what your house looks like, listen. I deserve to have a clean home for me. You do too. It’s not for your mom, your roommate, your spouse. It is for you.

Focusing on therapeutic yoga in the morning

My upper back’s been killing me recently. Not sure why yet. Probably that I’ve been sitting at desks too often and I’m getting to an age where my body’s just not down for that. But, whatever it is, I’ve been doing this yoga sequence to help. And let me tell you, it has. It has.

No matter how busy I am in the morning, I fit in this yoga sequence. Because pain is the teacher the Universe resorts to if you won’t listen to any other. If you’re not in any overall pain, start taking measures to keep it that way right now. Don’t let yourself get to a place where you’re in tears just sitting at your desk at work.

Cooking things from scratch

I didn’t grow up in a family that did a lot of cooking from scratch. About the only thing we ever made that didn’t include a box or can of something pre-made were chocolate chip cookies. And even for that, we used the instructions on the back of the chocolate chip bag.

But I’ve started getting into this. I’ve become one of those people that have both baking soda and baking powder in my house and using each regularly. I’ve learned to make scones, several kinds of cookies, Irish soda bread, beef wellington, and a ton of other things. As I’ve gotten into this, I can see how it’s an art form that I can use to perk myself up. On a cold grey day that discourages me from going outside, I can whip up a loaf of bread or some scones. I can make some rice pudding if I’m really needing some self-love.

So that’s it. I’m hoping that this will be a great winter with these new tools at my disposal. But I’m always looking for new ways to grow. What do you do to keep the winter blues away? Let us know in the comments below.

It’s that time again. Today is November first, which means Nanowrimo, and the start of the holiday season. Well, as far as I’m concerned the holiday season never really ends. There’s always something to celebrate.

I understand that for some of you, that’s a terrifying theory. That’s because a lot of people take the holidays way too seriously.

Every year I write a blog post about this and I swear I’m going to do it every single year. #Sorrynotsorry because everyone needs to hear this over and over again until we all internalize it and believe it.

I know I do.

The holidays, all of them, are only what we make of them. They are as flexible and fluid as you allow them to be. There should be absolutely no pressure on your shoulders whatsoever to have the perfect holiday. Because what the perfect holiday looks like is a different thing to everyone!

That’s it, that’s all! You don’t owe your family a Currier and Ives Christmas. You owe them a happy you. And you owe that to yourself, too. Now, all that being said, I do love holiday. I celebrate a lot in December, including Christmas, Yule, my beloved husband’s birthday, anNew Year. I do this by following one very simple rule, ruthlessly.

I only do things for the holidays that my family and I actually want to do. 

I love decorating the house, but by that, I mean putting up like four decorations, including my Charlie Brown replica tree.

I love baking, but everyone in the house is either diabetic or has cholesterol issues, so I save that for the specific holidays. We don’t have a cookie platter.

I love buying gifts, but I love making them more. 

Of course, what I love best about the holidays is enjoying a glass of mulled wine while I read A Christmas Carol. My family and I love best watching movies, so we’ve got a whole list of our favorites to get through. I love special teas and holiday coffees. I love seeing good friends and exchanging gifts on Yule. 

The trick is, I don’t do have to’s. I don’t have anything that I have to do. I have things that I want to do. I want to get up early to write. I want to go to work so I can pay my bills and buy ice cream for my dog. I want to do everything I do in a day, even if I don’t enjoy it. I don’t love cleaning the cat box, or sweeping off the back porch or going to work. I do love having a healthy cat, a clean porch and, you know, food.

But I do love the holidays. I allow myself space and time to love them. Because life is too damn short not to.

Happy holidays.