I would like to take today to remind everybody that the number one killer of New Year Resolutions is to have a day when life happens and get discouraged.

We got a new puppy. In unrelated news, I’m behind on everything.

It’s not because he encourages me to play with him instead of writing. Okay, it’s partially because of that. But it’s mostly because he needs attention or he’ll shred the damn house. It’s like having a kid all over again, except he won’t watch Baby Einstein so I can get something done for ten freaking minutes!

So the other day, I was hard at work editing, and Oliver was going insane. I was going a little insane, too. I didn’t like the chapter, but I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Then, I had a spastic dog to deal with on top of that, so you know nothing was getting done. I wanted to work, and it just wasn’t going to happen until I did something about the damn dog! So, I took him for a walk, in the hopes of getting his energy out a little.

That didn’t work, but something else happened. I was walking around my neighborhood, which I don’t do a lot. We just moved in a few months ago, and I’m still not familiar with the place, yet. So because I don’t want to get lost, I pay attention to where we’re going. I wasn’t paying attention to my story, and how stuck I was on this sucky chapter.

I met a neighbor I hadn’t yet. We saw another dog, and he and Oliver made friends. And when I finally got back to my desk, I had a solution for my chapter.

Basically, if I had tried to stick to the plan, I would have had a frantic dog, a chapter I still wasn’t happy about, and probably some puppy pee thrown in there for good measure.

I’m sure I have a thousand stories of kids who needed attention, medical emergencies that required a total shift of plans, or any number of things that might take my lovely time blocked day and toss it on its ear. These things are never going to go away. I will never write in a bubble, so I must learn how to deal with life in a sensible way. Here’s what I do when life gets in the way of my to do list.

Plan first to avoid it

I have done post after post about how I have taught my monsters to honor my writing time. My husband is the homemaker, and knows that my writing is for the better of us all eventually. (He also knows I get grouchy without some writing time.) I have a job I can’t get emergency called in on. I do my best to plan my productive hours for times I know the distractions will be limited. School hours, time the kids are playing outside, that sort of thing. A lot of this comes under common sense. I’m not getting any writing done while the monsters are getting ready for school, or while we’re making dinner, or during Steelers games.

React with understanding

But when something does happen, I have to be cool about it. First off, I’m a mom. While the kids need to respect my time, I need to respect that they can’t always. At eleven, there are still things they need me to do for them. There are always going to be times when they are just freaking out and need their mom.

If you’re not a parent, though, there is still no reason to throw a hissy fit because you didn’t get the productive time you thought you were going to. First off, you’re probably a grown up, and hissy fits are beneath you. Second, it wastes energy that you could be using to fix the problem. Third, and most importantly, you’re guaranteeing that you will have no happiness from whatever has distracted you from your writing. More on that next.

Savor life

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Savoring life is all when and good when your distraction was a puppy that needed love from his new mommy. Or when your daughter’s internet boyfriend broke up with her and she needed to be distracted with Jenna Marbles videos. Except that you didn’t get those moments if you did your best to just deal with the situation and move on. Band aid solutions, or pawning something off on someone else will not give you a happy moment.

But what if something actually bad wrecked your day?

I might have mentioned before, my husband has some health issues. Sometimes that means he isn’t feeling well, so I’ve got to take over household stuff. Sometimes that means we’re going to the emergency room. Let me tell you, the first time you’re trying to entertain your kids in the emergency waiting room while your husband is maybe dying I don’t know and what if he dies, what the hell am I going to do, am I going to have to quit my job, holy crap I’m going to be a widow I’m not even thirty yet! (Gasp!) it’s sort of stressful. The last time, I was amused by the fact that the vending machine gave me dollar coins back.

That point aside, you have got to learn to take the bad times and make something good from them. If that means health concerns or just a busy day, it makes no difference.

Come back and regroup

If you can, come back to your desk. If it’s only been an hour or two, you will probably just have to kick it up a notch. However, you might need to take a look at your to do list and re prioritize it.

If you’re coming back the next day, take a deep breath and forget it. Just make a new to do list and move on.

Time for something classic, I think. Tin House is a classic literary magazine, and they like to do themed issues. The issue that they’re collecting stories for now has the most classic theme imaginable. Sex.

The issue will be titled, Sex, Again? which I have to tell you, made me laugh.

Genre- They, being a literary magazine, are rather anti genre. So don’t worry about it.

Word Count- 10,000 limit.

Submission Date- February 28

Wait time- Six months

Rights- Not listed.

Payout-Not listed.

Here is your link to full submission guidelines.

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In the last quarter of 2015 I took a break  from reading fantasy books and read three autobiographies from funny female comedians. One More Time, by Carol Burnett, Bossypants by Tina Fey and Yes Please by Amy Poehler.

I actually read Yes Please at first because it seemed like a companion book to Bossypants. (Here‘s a link to my review of that.) But I loved it for itself in the end.

Fey and Poehler get compaired a lot. They work together a lot, had similar upbringings, and similar career arches. Personally, I have always been a bigger fan of Fey. 30 Rock is one of my favorite shows, and I like seeing someone be mean to people who deserve it. The woman is my hero.

But the better part of me wants to be like Amy Poehler. I love Poehler as a person. Her entire outlook on life is one that I think we should all aspire to. Here are the lessons I took away from Yes, Please.

• Insist upon being who you are, but don’t be a jerk about it. That’s right there in the title.
• Don’t worry too much about people patting you on the back for your work. Just keep working. In her words, don’t want the pudding.
• It’s okay to not have a plan. That was something that threw me about the book at first. It’s not in any sort of order. She flips back and forth from her child, to early days in improve, to stories from SNL, to Parks and Rec. It was confusing, but very entertaining.
• Sometimes you’ve got to suck it up and deal with it. She spent a lot of time starting out living in crappy houses and working crappy jobs so that she could have enough time to devote to her craft.
• Pay it forward! Poehler and the Upright Citizen’s Brigade has a whole improv school, teaching a new generation of comedians. How cool is that?
• Keep your shitty opinions of someone to yourself. I’m going to tiptoe around this, but at one point Poelher was married to another comedian I love, Will Arnett. You know what? She doesn’t have a bad word to say about him. Or if she does, she doesn’t say it out loud. If we ever needed a reminder that it is possible to get divorced and not become an asshole to someone you used to love enough to make a life with, she’s it.
• Be honest, though. She does say in her book that she suffered from depression. I’m always saying that when people are honest about mental disease, it makes it easier for others to be honest.
• If you have kids, put them first. Reading this book, you can tell that Poelher loves her kids more than anything else. She works hard, but she puts those boys first.
• Apologize if you feel like you should. There was an incident, you can read about it in the book, where an SNL joke got some people pissed off at her. She didn’t write the joke, and didn’t even realize how it might offend anyone at the time, but she still got blamed for it. Personally, I don’t think that warrants an apology on her part, but she felt like it did. Ans she waited to long to give it, in her opinion.

I highly advise Yes, Please. I had a lot of fun reading it, and I think you will to.

What did you think of Yes,Please? Let us know in the comments below.

For most of my life, I have been a really big believer in following the rules. I was raised Mormon, but I was also raised by a mother who was unhealthy and unhappy. She did everything that everyone said you shouldn’t do when you’re brought up in The Church.

And so I got sort of a black and white view of the world. My friends had moms who were happily married, didn’t work outside the home, were deeply involved in the Relief Society and the Young Women’s organization. They all had dads who went to work, then came home and played games with their kids before reading out of the scriptures and sending them to bed. In my house, my mom worked a lot, smoked, didn’t go to church, saw a lot of guys, and drank too much. I was largely pitied in my group of church friends.

It took a lot of growing up to realize that there was more to this world than Mormons and people who were wrong. It took years for me to grow up and realize that everything should be questioned, and that we should listen to our own ‘still small voice’. It took me a long time to trust myself enough to do what I thought was right.

Sometimes, though, I need a reminder.

I told you all last month that I’ve spent years trying to break into traditional publishing. I wanted to try indie publishing this year, and see if it doesn’t fair better for me.

Then the worst thing that can happen to someone with a history of self doubt happened. Someone I trust did a whole podcast about how ‘you’ve just got to keep trying.’ Keep sending out that manuscript. Keep finding new markets to send your work to. Keep going! And it made me doubt. Indie publishing is, for the most part, throwing the rules out of the window. And so, I doubted my intentions. Am I just self publishing because I’m sick of rejection? Am I after a quick high? Am I taking a short cut, being lazy instead of paying my writing dues?

At this point I’m going to ask any indie writers reading this not to scream at me too loud. These were my own uncertainties talking, and I think I’ve managed to shut them the hell up.

Just in case I slip again, or if you yourself have had these same doubts about self publishing, I’ve made a shield. Feel free to use this anytime you like.

1. Indie writers face rejection every day. A book may fail, a promotional event may flop. A project that you poured your heart into might get a ‘meh’ response. But at least my failure is my own, and I can try harder next time. This means that my success is my own, as well.
2. There is nothing quick about self publishing. If you’re doing it right, you still put the same amount of ass in chair time. Then you’ve got to make the product, including the cover. (I’m having a terrible time with the cover for Days, if anyone knows an artist who could use some quick low budget work.) Then, promotion takes forever if done right.
3. Indie writers are anything but lazy. A traditional writer creates a book, and that’s years of work right there. An indie writer does that, then we become a promotion specialist. Tech support. Editor. Social Media specialist. Artist. I also have to look up how to apply for an ISBN number. Oh, throw copyright lawyer in there.

Now, I am not saying that indie writing is the only way to go. But we need to listen to our ‘still small voice,’ and decide what’s best for us.

What Rocked This Week

• I’m finally in the swing of my new writing schedule, so I’m actually getting stuff done again.
• Rough drafts always make me happy, even more so with new projects. I can not wait to tell you all what I’ve been working on, but it’s in the very early stages still.

What I’m looking forward to this week.

• I’ve got some fun work to do with Patreon this week. If you don’t follow me now, check it out. I’ll be adding some videos, so you can see what I actually look like. (The dog will probably also be in the video, because he will not leave me alone.)
• It’s official, Thirty Days, Thirty Ideas the book comes out in nine days. I am so excited for my very first book launch, and I hope you are, too! (Also, if you haven’t pre ordered it yet, here‘s a link. Don’t forget, offer code 30one gets it for you for free!)

Have you struggled with self doubt? What did you do to overcome it?

I have tried a lot of planning methods. I mean, a lot. I always have this push, this need, to be more productive. I’m a competitive person who has learned that competing against other people is super unhealthy. So, I compete against my past self. I’m always convinced that a new planner, a new method, a new to do list will help me beat old me.

Some of these methods work great. You’ve heard of my love for Bullet Journals, The Pomodoro Method and the Erin Condron Planner. (None of these are affiliates. I just like them all.) Some were a big fat waste of my time. I don’t always lay blame on the systems. I suffer from adult ADD, depression and a general lack of follow through. Here’s the thing, though, I’m not alone. Lots of people suffer from these things, and we still want to get things done.

So here’s what makes a planning method work well, and what makes them fail.

They’re too vague

Say it with me, sisters and brothers, a vague goal is no goal at all. You can say that you want to be a writer. Say that this is the year you want to get published. Super! How you gonna do it? This is why New Year resolutions fail all the time. Lose weight, be more organized, save money. They’re all great things to strive for, but they’re nothing without actual, actionable steps.

They’re not fun

I’ll be totally honest, Bullet Journaling would never have worked for me if it weren’t for washi tape, stickers and Moleskines. I work really hard, and I need to have some fun in my life. Planning is one way to put a little fun into my day, as nerdy as that sounds. Basically, of you don’t want to do it, there’s a good chance you probably won’t.

They’re too much fun

The other side of the coin is that a planner isn’t a toy. A planning method isn’t a toy, and if I am having fun planning and forget to actually get shit done it’s a waste. Yes, I had a lot of fun on the hours I spent with my books and pens, but I could have just gotten it done, finished my to do list, and then played a video game.

They don’t fit your actual lifestyle

I got this really awesome planner at the start of 2015. At least, I thought it was. But the problems with the damn thing became apparent as soon as I took it out of the box. It was too small, a whole week on one page the size of a paperback. It was full of pages that I had no need for. Vacation planning? I intentionally didn’t plan a vacation last year, so there was a wasted page. A gardening calendar when I didn’t have a yard, budgeting on just one page for the whole year?  It was not for me. I ditched it in June and got my EC planner. Love it!

They take too much time

Anything that takes a whole lot of time is going to become a chore. I need planning that can be done in a few minutes, at most an hour. It usually takes me about ten minutes to make my plans for the day, an hour on Sundays to plot the week, another hour on the first day of the month to plan for that.

Don’t be afraid to try different ways to plan your life. But remember that the whole point of a planning method is to help you get things done. If it doesn’t help you, it’s not right for you.

I actually haven’t ran across this magazine before, but I can’t not love their title. “Strong Words For A Polite Nation.”

This literary magazine works on a theme for every issue. Their submissions for the 73rd issue is open now, and the theme is Secrets.

Can you think of a more provocative theme? What great story doesn’t have a great secret? Even better, who doesn’t have a secret or two to share?

Genre- Fiction, non fiction, and poetry.

Submission date- February 15

Word Count- 3,000 for fiction and non fiction

Wait Time- Not listed

Payout- $50 per page or poem

Rights- Not listed

Here is your link to the full submission guidelines.

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Here’s something fun for Throwback Thursday, my very first post ever!

Hey guys. Today’s story might look familiar, because I’ve actually posted it before. Last April during the Blogging 101 event, one of the prompts inspired this short story about an old woman living alone in a crumbling city neighborhood. I’ve polished it up, and it’s going to be one of the stories included in Days and Other Stories. I hope you like it.

The Pusher and Mrs. Pauley

The world always seemed like a less than sturdy place to Addison.  He never really found that, day by day, anything stayed very constant.  The jobs his mom went to were always changing, right along with the men she brought home.  Some were nice and some weren’t, both jobs and men, but none lasted very long.  The friends he made, what few he could make at his dark, dangerous school, came and went.  When they went it was often to juvenile hall, or the special school for kids with problems.  One girl had gone to live with her aunt, and no one would tell Addison why, or why she came back a year later, seeming sad.

The neighbors came and went too.  No one moved to this end of town because they wanted to, and they got out as soon as they could.
Except for Mrs. Pauley.  She’d been there a long time before Addison and his mom had moved in.  According to some of the kids he’d met the first week there, they were all gone now, she’d always been there.  Addison didn’t really see much of her.  Sometimes he’d see Mr. Pauley putter around the garden, but then he died and wasn’t there anymore.  Her sons had come around a lot for a month or so after that.

One of them showed up with a moving truck, and Addison was sure that Mrs. Pauley would be leaving then.

But she hadn’t left.  Instead, she’d had a very loud shouting match with her son right in front of the building.  “The presumption!” she screamed, “To think that you can just drag me out of my home, because you think I can’t be trusted left alone to my own devices!  I am your mother, Anthony, and I took care of you for twenty two years!  I guess I can take care of myself for just as long as I want to!”

“Ma, don’t I know you took care of me for twenty two years?” the son named Anthony yelled while Addison watched from his bedroom window.  “That’s why you ought to let me take care of you, now!”

Addison didn’t know what sort of reaction Anthony had wanted from that, but the one he got was for his mother to break a dish over his head.  Word must have gotten around to the other five brothers, because none of them dared try that trick.

So old Mrs. Pauley stayed, while the only other constant was the pusher on the corner.  Addison like this pusher.  He wouldn’t sell to kids, and he didn’t harass the girls as much as the last one.  Addison hoped he stuck around for awhile, but he didn’t think he would.

Time passed.  Mom got a new job, then a new boyfriend.  The new boyfriend soon resulted in the loss of the new job.  The loss of the job soon resulted in the loss of the boyfriend.  It didn’t seem to matter much to Mom, and it sure didn’t matter to Addison.  He hadn’t even bothered to remember the man’s name.

The new pusher stuck around.  He was there the night the cops showed up at Mrs. Pauley’s place.

Addison was outside, covering the cement steps with chalk.  The rain would come and wash it away in the night, but that was the one thing Addison didn’t mind changing, because he could make it all new again once the cement dried.

The officers came, and Addison knew there was trouble when he saw Mrs. Hubbard with them.  “The old bitch,” was what his mom called the woman who owned the whole block, including the buildings that Addison and Mrs. Pauley lived in.

He watched as Mrs. Hubbard marched up to the door, looking very much like she thought well of herself in her fake pearls and cheap cardigan, and hammered on the door.

Mrs. Pauley answered.  She, Addison thought, really did look like she had reason to think well of herself, though Addison had never thought of it that way before.  Perhaps it was just the stark comparison between the two women.  Mrs. Pauly stood straight, wearing a sweater and slacks that were no double older than Addison himself, but so well cared for, so as to not need replacing with money that Mrs. Pauley would have preferred to spend on her children.

“Can I help you?” Mrs. Pauley asked, clasping her hands together in front of her.

“Don’t act like you didn’t know we were coming,” Mrs. Hubbard snapped, shaking her head.  “You haven’t paid your rent in three months.  I send you letters telling you that this you had to either pay, or get out.”

“I told you, I have to wait for Mr. Pauley’s life insurance,” Mrs. Pauley said.  “I don’t have any money until then.”

Mrs. Hubbard crossed her arms over her cheap cardigan.  “I’m sorry, but that’s not my problem.  Everyone’s got bills.  I’ve got taxes to pay on this building, and I’ve got to pay for the upkeep.”

“But you’ve never spent a dime on the upkeep of this place, not since the day you inherited it from your mother.”  Mrs. Pauley said.  “And she never paid a dime for the upkeep since the day my husband and I move in.  When the pipes burst in the winter, my husband fixed them, and paid for the supplies.  When that crazy man upstairs shot through the wall, my husband patched the hole for you.”

“I never asked him to do that,” Mrs. Hubbard said, but she looked a little pink.

“No,” Mrs. Pauley said, standing taller that Addison would have thought her five feet would allow.  “You didn’t have to.  I didn’t think I would have to ask you for some patience now.”

Mrs. Hubbard seemed to swell up.  She turned to the officers, and said, “Aren’t you going to do your jobs?”

An officer tipped his hat to Mrs. Pauley.  “I hate to do this, Ma’am, but she’s within her rights.  You ignored the letters she sent, and she’s got them registered.  I’m going to have to ask you to come with us.”

“But this is my home,” Mrs. Pauley said, “It’s always been my home.”

One of the officers set a hand on her arm.  It wasn’t a stern hand, but it was insistent.  It seemed to say that he would be as gentle about doing his job as Mrs. Pauley allowed him to be.

“Hold up,” the pusher called from the sidewalk, and ran over to them.

Addison held his breath, and the officers put their hands on their pistols.

The pusher held his hands up, and walked up the stairs.  “Grab my wallet out of my back pocket,” he said to one of the officers.  The man did so, and flipped it open.  Addison thought he saw a flash of gold.  Whatever was in the pusher’s wallet, it must have been important, because the officer nodded, and handed it back to the pusher.

“Mrs. Hubbard, I think you need to give Mrs. Pauley some time,” the pusher said.  “In fact, if you don’t want anyone to know about some of the female ‘tenets’ you keep in the the rooms above your bar, the ones who seem to have a lot of guests, you should wait just as long as it takes her.”

Mrs. Hubbard blushed.  Addison smiled, and went inside.

Not much was constant in Addison’s neighborhood.  Just the pusher on the corner, and Mrs. Pauley.

If you’d like to support me and my stories, please check out my Patreon page. You get all sorts of exclusive things, that I’m adding to all the time.

I’ve got a Wonder Woman wallet. I’m actually kind of known for it in my little town, because no one else has one like it. I get complements on it all the time. I just bought it because it was a man’s style wallet so I can fit it in my back pocket. (I’m not a big purse carrier.) I’ve also got a classy Wonder Woman pin on my jacket, the one I wear most often.

My love of this character prompted my word for 2016; Wonder.

I don’t know if you pick words for the year. You should though. Think of it as a shining light, one word that can sum up how you want to make your life better in the next 12 months.

In 2015, my word was patience. I was spinning around, trying to make anything happen, and there was no level of happy in my life. So I focused on patience in my personal life as well as my writing. I focused on what I could realistically do in a day instead of bemoaning the fact that I wasn’t already a famous author.

And I saw some real progress!

So, you may be wondering, what does Wonder mean? How will it help me like Patience did in 2015?

• Wonder, for Wonder Woman, to remember that I have done so much, and am capable of so much.
• Wonder, as in, “I wonder what would happen if…” To do things I’ve never done this year. For example, I wonder what would happen if I devoted myself to independently publishing my own work for twelve months the way I’ve devoted myself to getting my work published in 2015.’
• Wonder, as in, ‘What can I do to make today wonderful?’ speaks to my commitment to not only do more fun things this year, but to reach out and help others more this year as well.
• Wonder, as in, ‘What is already wonderful in my life?’ because I am committed to chronicling my blessings this year.

I would love it if you’d share your own word of the year. Please tell us yours in the comments below, and leave a link to your blog if you decide to post about it.

What rocked this week

• The new year started with a bang, a kiss and a good glass of wine. No better way to start off 2016, in my opinion.
• I went through Lisa Jacob’s New Year for A New You series. If you haven’t done this yet, you should. My favorite moment of the whole week of prompts was this one question, “What are you not willing to tolerate?” Wow. Just saying, we should ask ourselves this question more often, ladies and gentlemen.

What I’m looking forward to this week

• I have so many plans. I’m starting on a new regiment for editing and writing. Instead of hours spent, I’m recording pages completed. Hopefully I’ll get more done that way.
• I’m looking forward to getting back into my routine this week. The monsters are back in school, so I’ve actually got a few hours of quiet in which to get important things done.
• With one book on the editing board, and a rough draft of a super secret new project in the works, I am a busy girl. But I like it that way.

Don’t forget, guys, my very first books, Thirty Days, Thirty Ideas, is up for pre sale right now. It’s free with promo code 30one! Here’s a link. The book comes out January 21.

There are so many ways to plan. Trust me, I spend a whole lot of time on Pintrest looking at everyone’s pretty planners and bullet journal layouts. I watch youtube videos about it. Here’s a great one from Boho Berry. I also watched the whole Bullet Journal video, three times. I am a sick, sick human being, this is what I do in my free time.

I do use some of it. I use my bullet Journal, and I use my Erin Condron Planner. I like the SMART planning, the Level Ten Life planning, the Five Pillars planning. I try all of these things, but all of it boils down to one basic principle. It’s the principle on which I build my whole planning structure. Macro and micro planning.

This is the secret, my planning brothers and sisters! It all starts with this. Remember on Friday when I told you my big three goals for the year? If you missed it, I’ll paraphrase. Make actionable content for you, write entertaining stories for everyone and make a little money in the process. Those are big, lofty macro goals. I love them, because they are shiny and sparkly. They are huge, hanging high in the sky. I want to reach them, I want them so badly.

Here is the problem with the stars. They are vague. They are far away. So what do we do when there’s something out of our reach? You make a ladder. In other words, you do micro planning.

As an example, let’s take one of my macro goals.  Make actionable content for you. Now, I don’t want to give away any surprises, but here is an example of some of the rungs on my ladder.

• Make an effort to include actionable items in every one of my weekly posts. By this I mean include at least one thing you can do, right then, to make your writing life better.
• Publish Road To Full Time every month.
  Subscribe to our mailing list

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• Create another Thirty Days, Thirty Ideas event in August, with a new theme. (Sorry, you’ll have to wait for July to find out what the theme will be.)

Those are great micro goals. Those are great goals for a whole number of reasons. They are specific. They are simple. They are things that I can do in at most a month. And they build up to my lovely, shiny vague goals. They are the simple, every day wooden steps that will lead to my shiny beautiful stars.

Another way to look at it is this. I wrote the three macro goals as my new years plan. I do this once a year, and I review them during my quarterly audits to make sure they’re still actionable and relevant.

My micro goals I make fresh every month, week and day. I’ve gone over this before, so I’ll breeze through this. I look at my goals, and figure out what I can do about those goals in a month. Then I figure out what I can do this very week. Then, what can I can do this very day.

So, to sum it up, macro goals are big, lofty, and usually part of a one to five year plan. Micro goals are specific, actionable, can be done in a short amount of time and lead you to achieving your macro goal.

Now, then, since I mentioned it, here is an actionable item for you. I just love that phrase, actionable item. It means something that you can take action on, right now. Write out your stars, your bright and shiny stars. They can be a vague and as grand as you want, so long as you can then build a ladder to them.