I don’t like social media.

Let me be clear. I like that it exists because I think it keeps us all connected in a way that I couldn’t have imagined as a kid. I love how it makes me a part of the world’s community, not just my local community. I enjoy meeting new people online and have made some great friends who I’ve never met face to face. I love sharing my work with people worldwide, and I like how easy social media makes sharing.

I’ll go a step further. I love how platforms like Youtube have made celebrities out of everyday people. Matt Santoro, Rob Dyke, Jenna Marbles, I love the work these people are creating. I love how free their lives are.

What I don’t like is scrolling through Facebook and Twitter. It bores me, that’s it. For every picture of a friend’s baby, there are seven passive aggressive tweets. For every announcement that an indie author friend is launching a new book, I’ve got to wade through nine posts from people I went to high school with and have since gotten really concerned about preventing interracial marriage.

So I don’t much like social media. I pretty much stick to my own little corners of the internet, my Facebook writing groups and such. I really have to force myself to do anything else.

I understand that not all of you reading this feel that way. Some of you reading this really like social media.

More power to you.

Some of you reading this, though, may have a problem with social media.

The kind of problem that needs to be addressed.

But it can be hard to tell! How do you know if you have a problem with social media? I hesitate to call it an addiction, but it’s pretty damn similar. If you think you might have a problem, here are some things to consider.

Time doesn’t matter as much as you think.

You can’t measure an addiction by how much time you spend doing it, or how much you do at a time. I drink a lot of nights, but I’m not an alcoholic. I know I’m not, for the reasons we’ll get into below.

So you can’t say, “Oh, I only spend a half an hour on Facebook, it’s not a problem.” You also can’t say, “I spend hours on Facebook, clearly I have a problem!”

All that being said, there’s a good chance you don’t know how much time you’re actually spending on social media.

Lots of time management specialist suggest tracking your time for many different reasons. I’m going to suggest you do the same, but pay special attention to how much time you spend on social media. You should be able to find an app to help you track it.

I suggest you do this for at least a week because one day will probably not give you a fair view of your habits.

Are you neglecting your obligations?

Once you’ve tracked how you spend your time, you can start seeing patterns.

On the day that you didn’t get anything done on your to do list, did you spend a lot of time on Twitter?

When you should have been studying, were you scrolling through Instagram?

When you promised yourself you’d write, did you lose hours to Facebook instead?

Have you ever been late for work, or caught on your smart device at work when you’re supposed to be working?

Don’t forget, an obligation to yourself is still an obligation.

Is it making you do or say things you wouldn’t normally?

Confession time: Once upon a time, before I had PBW, during the roughly eight years I spent not writing, I used to be on Facebook a lot.

And I had a bad habit of getting into fights on Facebook. You see, I have this problem; I can’t shut up when I think someone’s being cruel. I can’t help but start fights. I once got into a serious argument over whether schools should teach cursive writing. Like, viciously insulting another grown ass adult over it. (If you’re wondering, I’m against it. I think that literally everything else we learn in school, including PE, is more important. Cursive’s pretty, teach it as an art form. That’s what it is, anyway.)

It shouldn’t surprise you that I’m a pretty calm, level headed person in real life. I’ve worked my whole adult life in customer service, so I’m pretty good at keeping my temper in check. And I have enough self-respect to argue like an adult, keeping to facts and avoiding vulgar language when I’m trying to make a point. (Not so much if you’ve just cut me off and I feel that my life was in danger. Or, you know, if I drop a coffee filter on the floor.)

The point is, I found that when I was arguing online, I wasn’t the same person I normally am. I wasn’t someone I liked, either.

How do you feel when you’re done?

When I was prone to arguing online, normally on Facebook, it was also wrecking my day offline. I’d get so damn pissed about whatever fight I was having with whatever stranger, and that anger would stay with me.

How do you feel when you’re done on social media. Do you feel good, like you’ve caught up with your friends and family? Do you, like me, feel like you got something good accomplished?

Do you have any good feeling afterward?

If not, maybe you need to ask yourself what the hell you were wasting your time on.

As you know, I’m always looking for new and innovative ways to practice writing. The more and more I focus on marketing my books and selling my books, the more I seem to need this.

I think that it’s good for all of us, no matter what part of the writing path we’re on, to remember that it is a practice. We’re artists, we writers, and our purpose is to create art.

People have a wide span of ideas of what art is, or what it’s supposed to be. For me, art is about clarity. My favorite songs, books, and movies always make something clearer. I do strive to tell a good story in my prose. Not all my work is going to be great art. But if I can help someone achieve a sense of clarity, then I feel that I’ve created a piece of real art.

Sometimes that someone is me.

To that end, I’ve started keeping a poetry journal. If you haven’t heard of this practice, it’s pretty cool. It’s also self-explanatory. You keep a notebook, in which you write out poems. Some people will sketch, draw or paint an image to go along with it.

I don’t do it every day. Some days I just don’t have the time, to be honest. But I’m finding that it’s doing a lot of good things for me.

First off, I’m writing more poetry. Poetry feeds prose, you know I’ve always said that.

It’s also therapeutic, though. While I exorcize my emotions through any work of fiction, it does have to go through a filter. I’m publishing my work most of the time. So, whether I mean to or not, I edit myself. That’s not always bad (You guys don’t need to know everything about my life). But sometimes I need to get out of me what I’m feeling.

In that way, keeping a poetry journal has been helpful. You might rightly ask, why don’t I just write a normal journal? Couldn’t I get my feelings out that way? Well, let me ask you something.

Have you ever been sad, or pissed off, and you weren’t sure why? Or maybe you’re overreacting to little things, things that shouldn’t piss you off. Maybe you’re crying at toilet paper commercials?

There are times when I have done almost all of those things. I don’t know if it’s my people pleaser gene or the fact that I don’t pay great attention. Maybe it’s just that, even though I’ve been practicing listening to my internal voice, I’m not perfect at it yet. Sometimes our subconscious is clued into the fact that something’s wrong long before the rest of the mind is.

Whatever the reason, sometimes concerns come out in my writing that I didn’t even realize were there. You don’t have to be an artist to use this tool, by the way. If you aren’t a writer, or if you know someone who isn’t a writer, keeping a poetry journal can help.

It’s also just fun, writing a poem then drawing a picture to go with it. I’ve always enjoyed drawing and painting in a purely amateurish fashion. I’d never want to be a professional visual artist, but I do enjoy being a better hobbyist. It’s a way for me to fit playing into my day. And, a reason to have paints and colored pencils in the house that are just mine.

I highly suggest keeping a poetry journal. And I’d love to hear about what changes it brings to your life! Let us know in the comments below.

I have a problem, and I’m trying to get over it. It’s taking some time to heal, please bear with me.

My problem is this. I made my word of the year Create. I’m doing really well fulfilling that.

But when it comes to doing anything that’s not directly feeding into my goal of creating, I have a hard time committing to it.

I don’t mean things like loafing around, scrolling through Instagram or watching too much tv. (Though I did finally get caught up on Ray Donovan. Damn, that’s a fine show.)

I mean, it’s been really hard for me to do things like free writing, reading writing manuals and watching instructional videos. I haven’t even been listening to podcasts!

It’s not as bad as it might have been. I haven’t been neglecting my duties at home, and I’ve been taking good care of myself. I have been reading, of course. But I’m not doing anything to learn! And while I absolutely feel that the best way to learn to write is by writing, there are other things I need to learn.

I’m trying to get better.

I imagine that I’m not the only author who struggles with this. It’s hard enough trying to find time to write, edit and sell our books! Not to mention maintaining social media presence. How are we supposed to shove learning new things into our already full to do list? Aren’t I doing enough already?!

Okay, drama aside. Finding time to learn new things is essential. It’s a struggle for me because I’m super Type A psycho sometimes. But it’s all about baby steps, sometimes.

Podcasts.

I’ve started listening to podcasts on my way to and from work. It’s better than what I was doing, reading a paper back book while walking down the damn street. Recently I’ve been catching up with Writing Excuses, and Bad With Money.

Finding good, inspirational books.

While I do love reading fiction, I’ve been making a point of reading informative books. The trick is to find a book that not only teaches you something but is enjoyable to read. Otherwise, you’re going to be a lot more inclined to get back to American Gods.

Sign up for emails that help you.

I recently took an email course that really taught me something about writing short stories. I love short stories, and I want to get better at writing them. Each email took a few minutes to read. I was then able to accomplish the ‘homework’ that came along with it.

Because I told myself that it was only going to take half an hour, I could do it. I also felt held accountable, since it was a class. Now I feel like I’m writing much better short stories.

Understand the importance of what you’re doing.

Recently I spent a whole two hours watching a great instructional Youtube video. I made myself sit down and watch the whole damn thing because I valued the information.

Doing things like free writing every day has been harder, until I started reading my second draft of Missing Stitches, preparing to write the third. That’s when I realized something. My descriptions need work!

So I’ve been making a point of writing descriptions in my free writing notebook. Every day I look up a picture of a house or a street on Google. Or I’ll go sit somewhere public and write a sketch of someone. And you know what? It’s helping. I didn’t think it would, but it is helping.

If there’s something you want to learn, understand the value of it. Don’t think about what you could have accomplished with this time. You’re accomplishing something by growing your education. And the work you do will be richer because of it.

Tell us something that you’ve learned recently that has improved your life or writing.

As you might know, if you follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Goodreads, I’ve been reading books about writing recently. I go through these phases where I’ll read everything I can get from one author, or a whole bunch of biographies, or everything I can get on one topic. Right now, I guess, it’s writing books.

That’s not a bad thing.

In the last few months, I’ve read Thunder and Lightning and Wild Mind by Natalie Goldberg. I followed that up with On Writing by Stephen King. The first two I’d never read before. The third I’ve read roughly 17 times since I was sixteen.

They’re wildly different people, with completely different writing styles and theories of writing. But they have more in common than I realized at first. They’re both teachers. They’ve written books about writing. And they both feel that there is something magic and holy about writing.

I have that in common with both of them

Natalie Goldberg

This is only a review of what I’ve learned from Wild Mind and Thunder and Lighting. I have not yet read Writing Down The Bones, but it’s on my list.

Natalie is, first and foremost, a poet. You can tell that in every word she writes. She’s lived a wild, enviably bohemian life that as a teenager I would have aspired to. She’s been married several times, moved all over America, taught writing to thousands of eager students.

Most of Natalie’s books are about writing or collections of poetry. She’s written one novel, so far as I can find, called Banana Rose.

After reading two of her books, I can tell you that I don’t agree with her feeling that writing must come from somewhere deep within us. Much of our writing will, it’s true. But sometimes I write a story that’s just a story. Just something that came to me, and entertained me for awhile.

What I’ve learned from her has been immeasurable. Natalie’s life is about writing. She doesn’t do anything else. I aspire to that, someday. Right now I’ve still got bills to pay, but she’s embraced poverty if poverty is what’s required for her to write. Maybe someday, if I don’t have kids…

I also learned the importance of freewriting, every day. Not a word we write is wasted, just like no yoga practice or meditation session is wasted. We take that time to stretch, to learn. To discover things we have to say that we didn’t know we wanted to say.

Natalie often equates writing to meditation practice. At first, I found that far-fetched. I write about dragons and space stations, that isn’t very zen like. Then I realized that the subject didn’t matter. The important thing was being present in the moment. When I meditate, I am completely in the room. I feel the floor, feel my body (for better or worse). I feel every vibration in the room, from my cat walking in or a breeze through the window. When I’ve left my practice, I can recall the calm I felt later when I need to center myself for a few minutes. I do this by counting backward from ten, just the same as when I begin my practice. Much in the same way, when I’m writing I am completely present in my story. I am deep inside myself.

Just like when meditating, I’m not thinking of the bills or the dishes, or whether or not I’m getting Carpel Tunnel. I’m focusing on the present, or on the story.

Even if it is about a dragon.

Stephen King

I can’t imagine I need to introduce Stephen King to you. His book, On Writing, is considered a cornerstone of a writer’s education. Everyone who talks about writing talks about this book.

Aside from On Writing, Stephen King writes horror. He’s published a metric ton of fiction. Most of it is fantastic. I’m in the middle of reading Tommyknockers while I write this. I’ve been a fan of his since I was ten when I read Pet Cemetery. Some of my other favorites of his are The Stand, Green Mile, From a Buick 8 and Carrie. I watched all of Kingdome Hospital. I was even named after one of his books. (My middle name is Christine. Yes, that was intentional.)

I’ve mentioned before that there’s one large topic on which Mr. King and I disagree. He is a pantser, and I am a plotter. In fact, he has some rather nasty things to say about plotting a novel in On Writing. To which I can only say this; Lots of people have the same complaint about his books, sometimes the endings blow really hard. Maybe that wouldn’t happen if he had at least an idea of where the damn story was going to end up before he started.

But I’m trying to move past that.

What I learned from the book is exceptional.

Mr. King has an exceptional work ethic. While I, as a teenager felt that writing was something ethereal, that I needed to be inspired to write, he didn’t cop with such bullshit. I kind of needed that talking to, as a budding writer.

There’s this great conversation between George RR Martin and King. I’ll paraphrase it below.

Martin: How do you write so much?

King: Well, I sit down and I try to write eight pages a day. (It used to be ten. Guess he’s slowing down.)

Martin: Don’t you ever sit down to write, and just nothing comes? So you check your email, and play solitaire, and tell yourself you have nothing else to say?

King: No!

Most of what I know about dialog I’ve learned because of On Writing. King suggests writing dialog honestly, writing the way people talk. He also suggests listening to people talk, if you want to learn to write good dialog. I’ve done this, sitting quietly in coffee shops and shitty diners. That’s probably why a lot of my characters talk like Western PA roughnecks. Of course, that could be because I am myself a Western PA roughneck, and it just comes out sometime.

As many of you might know, King was once heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol. These are addictions that he beat, with the help of his wife and family. From this, I learned something important. The wild, bohemian life might be great, but if I want to stay healthy and keep writing, staying clean and staying married are the best ways to go.

Have you read these books? What did you learn from them? Let us know in the comments below.

Happy August!

This year is going by so damn fast! I’m still writing 2016 on documents!

I’ve really been looking forward to August this year. Not a lot of writing’s going to get done, but that’s okay. That’s what winter’s for.

Here’s what’s going on with me in August.

The 30 Days, 30 Authors event is over.

And I learned so much! I’ve made some great new friends and gotten involved in new projects that I am pumped about. I learned new and fun ways to communicate with all of you, and even got to participate in a podcast! At the same time, I was on social media a lot more than normal. It will be kind of nice to slow that down a little. I don’t think I’ll go the whole way back down to my pre-event schedule, but I will be paring down.

I’m working on the third draft of Missing Stitches this month.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been crying almost every day. This is the last book I’m working on, you guys. The end of the trilogy! Now, I’ve still got a long road ahead of me before this book is published, but once it’s done I’m done with those characters for years! I’m about to cry just writing this.

I’m taking a full-on vacation, for nine whole days.

And I mean full vacation. No day job, no freelance work, no writing! We’re going camping for two days, then to Kennywood for one. Finally, we’re heading to Kentucky/North Carolina to see the solar eclipse. I cannot remember the last time I didn’t write for nine days. It’s going to be interesting.

Oh, and the NFL preseason is starting this month. So, you know, Here we Go, Steelers!

I’m going to be working on some short fiction to submit to some upcoming anthologies.

I was excited to hear about some anthology opportunities recently that I want to jump on. I recently stopped working on two novels at once (for several reasons that I’ll be talking about later this month) so I have some free time.

My kids are going back to school.

This is partially nice because it means I’ll have some time to myself on my days off. At the same time, it has been fun spending time with them this summer. I work on the weekends, so whole days where we have nothing at all to do are few and far between during the school year.

My younger daughter is turning 13

Now they’re both going to be Thirteen. I really am considering just moving out for the next five years. Just saying. When I started this blog they were both ten. What the hell happened?

Speaking of when I started this blog.

PBW is turning three on August 31^st! I can’t believe that it’s been so long since I started this journey. Be prepared for lots of crying and looking back (and probably some giveaways.)

Finally, Starting Chains is coming out next month!

I can’t believe we’re talking about this, but it’s happening! I am unbelievably excited to present Starting Chains to all of you, and I hope you’re all excited to read it.

What are you planning for August? Any major life events, or just getting ready for back to school? Let us know in the comments below.

You might have heard about black out poetry before. It’s a fun way to stretch your creativity and create something fun.

Start by getting an old book that you don’t like or want to read anymore. Or, head to the second-hand store and find a battered copy of something classic that’s not going to break your heart to draw or paint in.

Now, flip to any page. You can rip out the page if you want, but I prefer to leave them in and do all the pages eventually. That way I’ll have a whole collection eventually.

As your looking at the page, try to create a poem out of words that pop out at you. Mark your words lightly with a pencil.

Once your poem had been discovered, we’re going to blank out the rest of the page. There are no ends to the ways to do this, and it’s my kids favorite part. You can circle the poem words with pencil and scratch out the rest. You can draw or paint an image that compliments the poem you found. Or you could use scrap paper to cover everything, leaving just holes to let your poem stand out.

This is a great project to do with your kids if they’re spending too much time zombifying themselves in front of the tv this summer. Shake their brains up a little.

I really want to see any blank out poems you guys make! Please feel free to tag me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram if you share yours.

Today I have an awesome announcement for you. It’s something that I’ve been sitting on for some time, working behind the scenes to make sure that everything was ready before I let all of you know.

Starting Chains, book two of Woven is coming out on September 8^th!

And I can hardly believe that it’s happening! As you know, I celebrated the four-year anniversary of Woven on the 20^th. Now, the story will continue.

After years of war between Montelair and Septa, the two thrones are united by family. Victor’s nephew, Morgan, is sharing the throne with the last heir of the royal line, Jacob. He and Lenore decide to travel o Montelair with their newborn daughters to help broker peace.

But peace among their own people is harder to achieve. The city is tormented by a terrorist who calls himself The Tinker. He and his group of anarchists plant bombs through the city and call for the death of the new kings from every street corner.

Meanwhile, in Calistar, Sultiana and Devon are marching to war with Kussier. The ancient hatred between the two countries is sprung anew when Sultiana is declared heir to the Calistar throne.

Waiting at the border, though, is a much darker enemy. A force from legend threatens to consume both countries, and possibly the world.

Pre-ordering will be available when we get a little closer to the release date. I’ll let all of you know.

If you’re in Butler, PA, I’ll be hosting a book signing to celebrate. If you’re not, never fear. I’ll be hosting a Facebook launch party! Stay tuned for details. There’s going to be guest hosts, party games, and some other fun things.

Stay tuned for more details, and mark your calendar for September 8^th.

Who is your book’s biggest fan? Your mom, your spouse?

It should be you. No one should ever love your book as much as you do. And you should always show it.

Don’t fuss about the details.

I know that there are things that you don’t like about your book. How do I know that? Because there are things that I don’t like about my book. A lot of them. I swear I went through that manuscript fourteen times, I was sure that I had gotten everything. Then I go through the book when it arrives, and of course, I found a typo!

But I try not to obsess. And I’m hardly going to go complaining about it or badgering my own book in public. No, that was a tirade that only my family heard.

I’m trying to let it go.

Don’t talk bad about your book.

Did you know that Stephen King doesn’t like Carrie? His own book! He says in On Writing that he only wrote it for his wife. He hates the main character and has no connection with her.

I felt betrayed when I read that. I loved Carrie so much I wore out a copy. And it downright hurt to find out that she was the least loved child. Now if he’d have said he hated the Dark Tower series I’d have been on board.

Don’t do this. I understand looking back at work you’ve written and realizing that it wasn’t your best. I’ve written some short stories that I wish I’d never put out. But I wrote them, and some people liked them. So I won’t insult someone by saying that I don’t like a story I wrote.

People will be as excited about your book as you are.

When I write a short story or publish a book, I get loud! It’s like I’m at a Pens game when the scrolling marque says ‘Make some Noise!’ I literally behave as though it’s the best news in the world.

I can’t expect anyone to be more excited about my book coming out than I am. Maybe someday when I have thousands of fans anxiously awaiting my next release. Not right now. Right now I have lukewarm interest at best. So I’ve got to be out there cheering on my book.

Talk it up all the time!

Which is why I talk about it all the time. I go to signings and talk about it. I tell the barista at my coffee shop that the book is coming out. I tell people at the Y, people I pass on the street! I absolutely think that this is news everyone needs!

Love your story first.

I wrote Broken Patterns for me. I wrote a fantasy story that I would want to read. The same for Station 86. I didn’t add in elements that I didn’t enjoy to please someone else or because I think it will help the book sell. I wrote the story that I wanted to write. Because if I’m not in love with the story, why the hell would anyone else be?

I’m still enjoying my 30 Days, 30 Authors event. I hope you’re enjoying it, too. I know my reading list swelled!

I’ve also made connections with some fantastic indie authors. There are some really great people participating in this event, and it’s been nothing but a positive experience for me.

Not every experience I’ve had with other writers has been the same. Sometimes people are just rude.

But sometimes people just aren’t sure how to behave when interacting with other authors. I know that before I started talking to other writers I was hugely unsure of how I should behave. But the more I’ve done it, the better it’s been. And it is absolutely essential that we as indie authors help each other out.

If you are worried, though, here are some guidelines for working with other indie authors.

Remember, you’re a professional and so are they.

So behave as such. I speak with other indie authors the same way I’d speak to a co-worker, editor or agent. This is someone with whom you intend to have a professional relationship with. So things like politics and religion don’t have a place in this relationship. I don’t have to agree with your politics to like your book. I also will probably not be telling another indie author about the date I had the other night with my husband. Unless we’ve developed a personal friendship, I don’t share things about my personal life.

Always ask, never expect.

Often I ask for help from my fellow authors. I’ve been asked by fellow authors to help them. Most of the time this involves book launches or relaunches. We ask each other to post on our blogs, support our social media campaigns and conduct interviews.

Sometimes we just don’t have the time, though. Sometimes we’re just too busy. Indie writers have jobs, families, school. We also have our own books that we’re working on. We might also just be flooded with other commitments. There’s any number of reasons why you might ask an author to help you out and they might have to say “No, sorry.” So don’t take it personally, and don’t mope about it.

And I’ll tell you now that an author who insists that I do something is an author that’s going to hear no a whole lot from me. Now and probably as long as I remember them being rude.

Remember, other people are busy

So if you are given a deadline, meet it. If you need to get information to someone, get it there. If you get an email from them, try to respond within a day or two.

At the same time, don’t expect direct responses. A day or two is an acceptable time frame in which to get information back from someone.

Also, if you need something from someone quickly, maybe don’t expect that to happen. I know that it would be difficult for me to post something tomorrow if you’re giving it to me today. I might be able to, but I don’t really know.

Just, respect other people’s time is what I’m saying.

Share others work when you can.

I like to scroll through Facebook and Twitter looking for indie books that look interesting. It takes about three seconds to share that tweet or post. I don’t do it every day, but it’s something that takes no effort to do. So it’s an easy activity while I’m watching tv.

I really don’t expect anything in return, but sometimes I get a thank you. Even better, I’m putting more indie books in front of people who might like to read them. Remember, it’s not all about showing love to other writers. It’s also about helping people find books they want to read.

Offer help in return.

I post about other indie writers here on PBW. I also include at least one indie book in each issue of PBW Update. (Click here to subscribe, comes out every other Monday.)

I do this because I want to introduce you to other authors, but I also do this to help them out. I do it whether or not they’ve helped me in the past. Because it’s a nice gesture. It shows good manners.

Above all, don’t be scared! I recently had the bright idea to contact some of my favorite indie authors directly and ask them to read an upcoming book before it came out. These were people who wrote books I’d read and loved. I was terrified!

But you know what? All of them responded with such positivity and courtesy. I can’t say enough about how wonderful they all were. So don’t be scared.

What this all comes down to is just treating your peers with respect. But if you’re adhering to these rules, then there’s no reason you should fear contacting other authors to help you with your books.

Every year on this date I get pretty excited. That’s because it’s the day that I created Woven.

I’m sure you’ve heard my story before. If not, here’s links to last year’s blubbery crying blog post about my anniversary. And the one from the year before that.

I started writing Broken Patterns in 2013 before I started working at the current day job or got married. In the last four years, I’ve written four books, taking my characters through hell, putting them away, and beginning a journey for a whole new cast in the same world.

I’ve had the first book traditionally published. It’s out there for the whole world to read and enjoy. And through it all, I’ve been blogging here on PBW. It’s taken four years to get this far, and I have ten books I want to write still in the series. It’ll probably take another ten years, but that’s okay.

I can’t imagine what I’ll do when the series is all done and out there. I might just die right there.

Anyway, I want to thank all of you for following along on this awesome, wonderful, terrifying journey. I do it for me, and I do it for my kids.

But I also do it for you. So thank you, all of you, for caring.